African-American parents explain "The Talk"

[thetragichippy]

When we hear about parents having "The Talk" with their children, it usually refers to the "birds and the bees" conversation.

Not so in the African-American community, where "The Talk" is instructions on what to do if an African-American teenaged boy is stopped by police officers.

Grimes told us about her talk with her sons, "I said if you're even stopped by the police, you just roll down your window, ask what is it that you need to do, don't try to get out of the car, don't try to have the last word."
 

 

That is the SAME thing my parents taught me........and I'm white.

 

http://www.12newsnow.com/story/26286807/african-american-parents-explain-the-talk
 

[BLUEDOVE3]

Always "exceptions" to any rules. LOL!!  But news guy(?) on channel 12 showed some stats where 28% of young Black males were stopped and whites were around 12% (?). 

 

I've already given mine "da talk" before the older one started driving. I guess with age, maybe there comes a point when "da man" stop pulling "us" over. I noticed a slight drop off after age 49.

[thetragichippy]

Always "exceptions" to any rules. LOL!!  But news guy(?) on channel 12 showed some stats where 28% of young Black males were stopped and whites were around 12% (?). 

 

I've already given mine "da talk" before the older one started driving. I guess with age, maybe there comes a point when "da man" stop pulling "us" over. I noticed a slight drop off after age 49.

 

To me "The Talk" was something ANY parent should teach their Son.

 

Like....looking BOTH ways before crossing street

[EnlightenedChosenOne]

My parents never gave me the talk about police, it was sort of ingrained in the neighborhood and school I went to. I still go out of my way to avoid police as much as possible, even when I'm not doing anything wrong

[BLUEDOVE3]

Some history as why we got the talk in my days growing up in Houston.

 

Joe Campos Torres (December 20, 1953 - May 5, 1977) was a 23-year-old Vietnam Veteran who was beaten by several Houston police officers and subsequently died. His death sparked protests and the outcome of the trial was met with rioting. Torres had been arrested at a Houston bar for disorderly conduct. Six police officers took Torres to a spot called “The Hole” next to Buffalo Bayou and beat him.[1]

The officers then took Torres to the city jail, who refused to process him due to his injuries. They were ordered to take him to Ben Taub General Hospital, but instead of doing so, the officers brought him back to the banks of Buffalo Bayou and pushed him into the water. Torres’s body was found two days later.

 

[tvc184]

My parents never gave me the talk about police, it was sort of ingrained in the neighborhood and school I went to. I still go out of my way to avoid police as much as possible, even when I'm not doing anything wrong

 

So do I.

[BLUEDOVE3]

So do I.

Now you know its real bad if tvc avoid them.

[bullets13]

Most important part of the talk: if you don't commit crimes and don't roam the streets in the middle of the night, very few cops will try and find a reason to stop you, regardless of your race.

[PAMFAM10]

Most important part of the talk: if you don't commit crimes and don't roam the streets in the middle of the night, very few cops will try and find a reason to stop you, regardless of your race.

this is not true I grew up on the westside of P.A. certain people fear the way certain youth talk walk dress etc. Its stripping away rights to tell someone if you dont wanna be subject to harassment stop dressing a certain way. Its become completely normal to stereotype the youth. I cant tell you how many times I've been ask where you going..what you doing out here.. you got I.d. come here. And before anyone start. When my Dad gave me the talk he told me be careful and calm around cops. Not just white cops. Black community have tension with cops in general not just white cops.

[Big girl]

Most important part of the talk: if you don't commit crimes and don't roam the streets in the middle of the night, very few cops will try and find a reason to stop you, regardless of your race.

why cant a person roam the streets in the middle of the night? Is that a crime

[Big girl]

Always "exceptions" to any rules. LOL!! But news guy(?) on channel 12 showed some stats where 28% of young Black males were stopped and whites were around 12% (?).

I've already given mine "da talk" before the older one started driving. I guess with age, maybe there comes a point when "da man" stop pulling "us" over. I noticed a slight drop off after age 49.

lol

[tvc184]

this is not true I grew up on the westside of P.A. certain people fear the way certain youth talk walk dress etc. Its stripping away rights to tell someone if you dont wanna be subject to harassment stop dressing a certain way. Its become completely normal to stereotype the youth. I cant tell you how many times I've been ask where you going..what you doing out here.. you got I.d. come here. And before anyone start. When my Dad gave me the talk he told me be careful and calm around cops. Not just white cops. Black community have tension with cops in general not just white cops.

 

In some instances I have seen the opposite of what some people might believe as far as the race of the officer.

[PAMFAM10]

I can only speak for my circle if we're having a good time or just out and about. It makes no difference who was in the uniform just seeing the uniform was enough to kill the mood. Black cops would rough you up too.

[Big girl]

Last night, in my hometown, we were out "roaming the streets" until about 3am celebrating my cousin's home going.

[bullets13]

why cant a person roam the streets in the middle of the night? Is that a crime

No, it is not a crime. But a much higher percentage of people out at that time of night are up to no good. Especially in high crime areas. If I'm wandering down 4th street in BMT at 2 AM, I'm not going to be surprised if an officer asks me what I'm up to.

[bullets13]

I can only speak for my circle if we're having a good time or just out and about. It makes no difference who was in the uniform just seeing the uniform was enough to kill the mood. Black cops would rough you up too.

Do you mind if I ask how old you are? I spend a lot of time driving in PA in the middle of the night (I go fishing there), and I see a lot of black males hanging out and walking around, and I see a lot of police cars driving around, but I can't remember an instance where I've seen a car pulled up talking to anyone where it would appear that they were hassling them. I also go on a couple of police ridealongs a year and I've never heard on the radio or responded to any calls of any officer stopping a pedestrian for simply walking around. So I know it's not a something that happens constantly. I've also driven through the main drag there at 2 AM on many occasions and there were people spilled out into the streets, loud music, public drinking, etc, about 2 blocks from the police station, and no police were out hassling them, even though misdemeanors were being committed in the middle of the street. That being said, if there's a curfew on the seawall, and a group of black males is hanging out there anyway, if a white cop pulls up and tells them to leave is that considered hassling?

[PAMFAM10]

Do you mind if I ask how old you are? I spend a lot of time driving in PA in the middle of the night (I go fishing there), and I see a lot of black males hanging out and walking around, and I see a lot of police cars driving around, but I can't remember an instance where I've seen a car pulled up talking to anyone where it would appear that they were hassling them. I also go on a couple of police ridealongs a year and I've never heard on the radio or responded to any calls of any officer stopping a pedestrian for simply walking around. So I know it's not a something that happens constantly. I've also driven through the main drag there at 2 AM on many occasions and there were people spilled out into the streets, loud music, public drinking, etc, about 2 blocks from the police station, and no police were out hassling them, even though misdemeanors were being committed in the middle of the street. That being said, if there's a curfew on the seawall, and a group of black males is hanging out there anyway, if a white cop pulls up and tells them to leave is that considered hassling?

I clearly stated its less about the race of a officer. But you clearly want to make it a black white thing. I'm 22 years old I've lived In port Arthur from birth to high school graduation. Minus a year in Louisiana. I have no reason to make things up I've seen police harass alot of people. Ive been stop many of times doing absolutely nothing or what police call j walking and all the others petty reasons they find to try and search you. Just no to long ago I was search on my way to my mom house in houston me and my little brother was smoking a cigarette. I guess the officer made a conclusion that it had to be weed so enter the long conversation about him telling us he know it was weed because he can smell it.tells us to get on wall etc etc. Ask for id. And begin his search. me and my brother is being pretty calm still hes screaming for no reason like were armed and dangerous. This is just one account of many. Not to mention the crap that happens nationwide. For that reason alone I avoid cops when I see a cop car I don't look to see if hes white or not I just pray he passes me up......Just a side note Im a respectable citizen that follows the law. I still feel need to avoid the guys who's in charge of reinforcing the law. I understand stand the job is dangerous and challenging but that do not give you the right to violate me. Because your job is challenging.

[bullets13]

For the record, I'm not trying to make anything a black/white thing. The article in itself made it a "black" thing, which is why I'm asking questions directed to black posters.

[thetragichippy]

J walking may be petty but it is something to be stopped for

[Mr. Buddy Garrity]

J walking may be petty but it is something to be stopped for

I rather not jaywalk, I dont like getting hit by vehicles.

[PNGFan]

why cant a person roam the streets in the middle of the night? Is that a crime

Do you think I could "ROAM" a black neighborhood at night? I agree Big Girl, I wished it was that way on both sides being able to just live and not live in fear. It is the world we live in.

[TROJANSWIN]

I clearly stated its less about the race of a officer. But you clearly want to make it a black white thing. I'm 22 years old I've lived In port Arthur from birth to high school graduation. Minus a year in Louisiana. I have no reason to make things up I've seen police harass alot of people. Ive been stop many of times doing absolutely nothing or what police call j walking and all the others petty reasons they find to try and search you. Just no to long ago I was search on my way to my mom house in houston me and my little brother was smoking a cigarette. I guess the officer made a conclusion that it had to be weed so enter the long conversation about him telling us he know it was weed because he can smell it.tells us to get on wall etc etc. Ask for id. And begin his search. me and my brother is being pretty calm still hes screaming for no reason like were armed and dangerous. This is just one account of many. Not to mention the crap that happens nationwide. For that reason alone I avoid cops when I see a cop car I don't look to see if hes white or not I just pray he passes me up......Just a side note Im a respectable citizen that follows the law. I still feel need to avoid the guys who's in charge of reinforcing the law. I understand stand the job is dangerous and challenging but that do not give you the right to violate me. Because your job is challenging.

Pamfam- in my experience, your age may have as much to do with the police looking you over as race does. Young men tend to be the bigger trouble makers, or at least have that reputation. When I was younger, I was checked out by officers a lot more often, and have been pulled over for really random reasons that basically amounted to the officer wanting to check out what I was doing and needed a reason. Seems like about 30-35 years old, they figure you've outgrown a lot of the trouble making and start leaving you Alone more often. Part of it is you start changing the way that you look at the world and realize you are not doing anything wrong and they don't have a reason to pull you over or mess with you and when they do stop you, you do not act nervous or scared and they relax more too. I can actually remember when this realization hit me. My wife, children, and I were on the way home from my parents one evening. We were going through the town where I hung out a lot in my late teens and early twenties. In those years I was stopped all the time by the city police officers for random stuff. On this day, as we drove through town a police officer spun around and fell in behind us. He came real close up on us and followed us all the way through town. I can remember thinking I hadn't broke any laws and kept thinking please pull me over, I can't wait to hear what you want. He never did turn his lights on, but since that day, I don't get the same feeling when a police officer is following me.

[SKINS]

I lived on a naval vase for a while, if I was out roaming around in the middle of the night, in uniform or not, you could bet money I was getting stopped. Our liberty briefs always have include don't be out late doing whatever, that's when stuff goes down.

Its not that it is illegal to be out late, there are just very few reasons to be out besides being up to no good.you don't go to the candy store at 2am.

[mat]

One of the lessons I was taught was to be respectful to the cops when confronted. I was also taught to not be in certain parts of the town after the sun goes down. Just two of many.

[Big girl]

No, it is not a crime. But a much higher percentage of people out at that time of night are up to no good. Especially in high crime areas. If I'm wandering down 4th street in BMT at 2 AM, I'm not going to be surprised if an officer asks me what I'm up to.

would an officier ask you that or would he make assumptions and shoot you dead?