This Board Needs....

[Hagar]

On 6/19/2021 at 9:56 PM, Chester86 said:

Where is the “Mark Forum Read” button at?  I know you used to could mark individual threads or all of it as read, but I can’t find it anymore.  My OCD kicks in when I see something lit up.

Hey old buddy, what is a Mark Forum Read button?   

[Chester86]

Instead of going into differing forum threads, say HS Track and Field, you can hit “Mark Forum Read” without actually going into each different entry. I don’t know that I’m explaining it right.

[Hagar]

11 hours ago, Chester86 said:

Instead of going into differing forum threads, say HS Track and Field, you can hit “Mark Forum Read” without actually going into each different entry. I don’t know that I’m explaining it right.

I’m just glad I know how to login.  😂😂😂

[WOSdrummer99]

1 hour ago, Hagar said:

I’m just glad I know how to login.  😂😂😂

Oh yea. What's your password?

Just joking.

Seriously old man, DON'T ANSWER!!!

[Hagar]

10 hours ago, WOSdrummer99 said:

Oh yea. What's your password?

Just joking.

Seriously old man, DON'T ANSWER!!!

I don’t mind.  My password is........is.........I don’t remember.

😂😂😂🤣🤣😂😂😂

[mat]

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the
kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on
where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and
masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she
tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a
spear lodged in his chest.

[baddog]

Joke 

One day, a very gentle Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in Austin.

As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin’ to jump.  ("fixin" in Texas means:  has the means or abilities to take action)
 
She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump! Think of your dear mother and father."

He replied, "My mom and dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."

She said, "Well, think of your sweet wife and precious children."

He replied, "I'm not married, and I don't have any kids."
 
She said, "Well, then you just remember the Alamo."

He replied, ''What's the Alamo?''

She replied, ‘’Well, bless your heart!  You just go ahead and jump you little Yankee Democrat Bastard.. You’re holding up traffic.”

[baddog]

The reason I’m getting a divorce……

I woke up a couple days ago, it was my birthday. My wife made no mention of it, even the kids said nothing. I went to work and none of my co-workers wished me happy birthday. It was frustrating. Later, my boss came up and she wished me happy birthday. I said thanks. She then asked if I would like to get a bite for lunch. I said that sounded great. After lunch, she asked if I would like to go back to her place. Hesitating for a moment, I eventually said yes. We got to her place and she said she wanted to go change clothes. A few minutes later, she came back with my wife, my kids, and several of my co-workers. They wanted to wish me happy birthday with a cake and there I was sitting butt ass naked on the couch. 

[Hagar]

16 hours ago, baddog said:

Joke 

One day, a very gentle Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in Austin.

As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin’ to jump.  ("fixin" in Texas means:  has the means or abilities to take action)
 
She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump! Think of your dear mother and father."

He replied, "My mom and dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."

She said, "Well, think of your sweet wife and precious children."

He replied, "I'm not married, and I don't have any kids."
 
She said, "Well, then you just remember the Alamo."

He replied, ''What's the Alamo?''

She replied, ‘’Well, bless your heart!  You just go ahead and jump you little Yankee Democrat Bastard.. You’re holding up traffic.”

That’s a freaking classic.  😂😂😂

[mat]

[baddog]

2 hours ago, mat said:

This is the hidden content, please

• Sign In
• or
• Sign Up

Sorry. It goes to a black screen with a red picture frame.

[baddog]

What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? 
 

Answer: The people in Dubai don’t like Fred Flintstone but Abu Dhabi do. 

[TxHoops]

On 7/10/2021 at 8:40 PM, baddog said:

The reason I’m getting a divorce……

I woke up a couple days ago, it was my birthday. My wife made no mention of it, even the kids said nothing. I went to work and none of my co-workers wished me happy birthday. It was frustrating. Later, my boss came up and she wished me happy birthday. I said thanks. She then asked if I would like to get a bite for lunch. I said that sounded great. After lunch, she asked if I would like to go back to her place. Hesitating for a moment, I eventually said yes. We got to her place and she said she wanted to go change clothes. A few minutes later, she came back with my wife, my kids, and several of my co-workers. They wanted to wish me happy birthday with a cake and there I was sitting butt ass naked on the couch. 

And here’s my reason…

The wife was standing naked, looking in the mirror.  She said “I look old, fat, and ugly.”  I didn’t respond so she turned around and said. “Hey!  I could really use a compliment about right now!”  So I thought and said, “Well your eyesight is damn near perfect…”

[LumRaiderFan]

7 minutes ago, TxHoops said:

And here’s my reason…

The wife was standing naked, looking in the mirror.  She said “I look old, fat, and ugly.”  I didn’t respond so she turned around and said. “Hey!  I could really use a compliment about right now!”  So I thought and said, “Well your eyesight is damn near perfect…”

🤦😁

[mat]

[mat]

,

[TxHoops]

  There were several women who irritated British Prime Minister Winston Churchill.  One was Lady Astor, ever a thorn in his side.  During their conversation one evening, Lady Astor became so exasperated with Churchill she exclaimed, “Winston, if i were your wife i'd poison your soup“  He replied without missing a beat, “Nancy, if i were your husband, I’d eat it.”

Gotta love Churchill. 

[LumRaiderFan]

1 hour ago, TxHoops said:

  There were several women who irritated British Prime Minister Winston Churchill.  One was Lady Astor, ever a thorn in his side.  During their conversation one evening, Lady Astor became so exasperated with Churchill she exclaimed, “Winston, if i were your wife i'd poison your soup“  He replied without missing a beat, “Nancy, if i were your husband, I’d eat it.”

Gotta love Churchill. 

Out of likes...good one. 😄

[mat]

.

[baddog]

Love this time of year when you can dig graves in your front yard and people think it’s just a cute display. 

[mat]

An atheist was seated next to a dusty old cowboy on an airplane and he turned to him and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The old cowboy, who had just started to read his book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly.
“Okay,” he said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”
The atheist, visibly surprised by the old cowboy's intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the cowboy replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don’t know crap?”...........

[mat]

As a boy I could climb any tree around and run miles on end.

 

These days I have to steady myself before I fart.

[SmashMouth]

On 1/2/2022 at 12:05 PM, mat said:

As a boy I could climb any tree around and run miles on end.

 

These days I have to steady myself before I fart.

Amen brother. Lol. 

[Hagar]

On 1/13/2022 at 2:31 PM, SmashMouth said:

Amen brother. Lol. 

Lmbo, sounds like @mat can identify with you & I.  😂🤣😂

[Hagar]

The next time you hate your life remember, it’s all about perspective.  I have a friend who has sex 2-3 times a day, exercises twice a day, reads two books a week and yet still complaints about how much he hates prison.