Had to Share This

[baddog]

.....I hope it offends.

I took down my Rebel flag (which you can't buy on EBAY any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off my front window. I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch. I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard. Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN Buy on EBAY) and ran it up the flag pole.
Now the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7. I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.
Plus, I bought burkas for me to wear when I shop or travel. Everyone moves out of the way and security can't pat me down. If they say I'm a male wearing a burka, I just say I'm feeling like a woman today.
Hot Damn...Safe at last. Isn’t this administration great or what
 

[Hagar]

Dadgum baddog, you've hit on something there.   With the Rebel flag they'd be watching you.  With the Isis flag, protecting you (what a strange country we live in). And this burka thing, that'll work.  Have to hold off until weather cools down.  To hot now.

i other quick tip for you.   Restrict bathing to once a week.  I think many Muslims are allergic to soap, but so are many Europeans.  Must be the Mediterranean Sea that causes it.