How Would You React ?

[Hagar]

A driver was stuck on a highway outside of Washington DC.   Nothing was moving, everything at a standstill.

Suddenly a man knocks on his window.  The driver rolls down his window and ask, “What’s going on”?

“Terrorist have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they’re asking for a $100 Million dollar ransom.  Otherwise, they’re going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire.”  We’re going from car to car collecting donations.”

“How much is everyone giving, on an average”, the driver ask?

The man replies, “Roughly a gallon”.

[Ty Cobb]

[baddog]

1 hour ago, Hagar said:

A driver was stuck on a highway outside of Washington DC.   Nothing was moving, everything at a standstill.

Suddenly a man knocks on his window.  The driver rolls down his window and ask, “What’s going on”?

“Terrorist have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they’re asking for a $100 Million dollar ransom.  Otherwise, they’re going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire.”  We’re going from car to car collecting donations.”

“How much is everyone giving, on an average”, the driver ask?

The man replies, “Roughly a gallon”.

Lmao.

[Englebert]

An oldie, but seems appropriate here:

 

A young woman brought her fiancé home to meet her parents.
After dinner, her mother told the girl's father to find out about the young man.

The father invited the fiancé to his study for a talk. 
"So, what are your plans?" the father asked the young man.
"I am a biblical scholar," he replied 

"A biblical scholar, hmmm?" the father said. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?"
"I will study," the young man replied, "and God will provide for us.”
 
"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asked the father.
"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replied, "God will provide for us.”

"And children?" asked the father. "How will you support children?"
"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replied the fiance.

The conversation proceeded like this...and each time the father questioned, the young idealist insisted that God would provide.
  
Later, the mother asked, "How did your talk go, honey?" 
The father answered, "He's a Democrat. He has no job, he has no plans, and he thinks I'm God."

[Ty Cobb]