Funny Things Coaches say

[Guest Ozen]

Here's one, post yours.

I love one-liners coaches use to motivate, or sometimes things they say that are not necessarily meant to be; but are funny. The best is when they're scolding!

WHAT'S THE MATTER? (Couldn't hear what the kid says) "THIS IS FOOTBALL SON, YOU'RE GOING TO GET HIT! GET USED TO IT!!!!"

Another Coach always says, "THAT'S A SIN!!" for anything done wrong. "DROPPING THE BALL IS A SIN!"

[patitan]

coach joe "bone" washington-"get me a reciever!!!!!!!" funny guy that's a second team reciever goes and stands next to coach off the bench. coach begins to tell him the play to send in.looks into the helmet after he tells him the play,then says "damn it,i said get me a reciever !!!!!!"

[BMTSoulja1]

Coach Dixon from Central got so hyped on one defensive play, he said 'Right there!! Right there!  Dododoooooooooood  dod!'  To this day, I still don't know what the heck that was. Must have gotten tongue tied.  LMAO

[gdickert]

I've interviewed so many coaches during my years working for newspapers around here that a lot of the quotes have faded into memory ... nice way of saying I'm getting old.

One area coach in a quote for a story in The Enterprise:

"He's so strong, he's got muscle in his sh*t ..."

Of course, I didn't use it in the story ...

Former Lumberton coach whose contract was non-renewed for a story in the Hardin County News ...

"I was fired because of illness and fatigue. Two school board members and an administrator were sick and tired of me."

A great quote from an Orangefield pole vaulter ... those of you who remember Enterprise sports writer Kenton Brooks will understand how this one would make it all the way to the sports editor before someone said HOLY CRAP ...

"In order to get deeper penetration into the box, I had to get a higher grip on my pole."

I swear to you ... I almost fell out of my chair when that one came across my desk.

Had another coach tell me that he preaches to his kids every day that

"There is no 'me' in team."

Ummm. Ok.

[Bigdog]

"Get up, your killing my grass."

Some of the old Ned players might recognize that one.

[HORNET_HIVE72]

the only place you will find sympathy is in the dictionary between syfullus and s***....thats what they told us this year..

[Bucster]

In order to get deeper penetration into the box, I had to get a higher grip on my pole."

Now that IS funny!  ;D

[RaiderPride09]

Our coach said we looked like we were trotting to a party? Does anybody trot to parties nowadays? Hahaha

[cardinal81o7]

our defensive coordinator last year, coach pratt always used to try to get on the db's, as soon as...and i mean immediately when the qb's hand went up he was screaming "PICK IT OFF!!" before the offense could remember what routes to run...it was funny we still laugh about that.

also my favorite coach of all time coach bolton had a pretty self explanatory way of saying we werent performing well...."we look like S*** on a white rag"

[AJ25]

Our coach said we looked like we were trotting to a party? Does anybody trot to parties nowadays? Hahaha

i think the question is, who DOESN'T trot to parties nowadays?! hahah

[Cardinal Supporter]

I worked with a man who played for the old Wallace team in Orange. He told me that when he played the kids would ask the coach "coach, what play do you want us to run?" He said the coach always came back with "play football son, play football".

[Guest Indian Chief]

Reading most of these posts going back to the Coaches cussing thread, sounds like most coaches cuss as we know they do.

[TradinUp BH]

Back in the early 90's at WB, "Blood makes the grass grow"

[CSI-Texas]

Talking to one of our assistant coaches a couple of years ago.  We were talking about different kids and how good they were.  He looked at the name of one kid and said "he couldn't play dead in a western". 

[stang4life]

Seems I recall Coach Ronnie Anderson was funny...

"git yur head outta yur a$$..."

"run boy run"

[warfan]

We had a coach that after a bad call, called the umpire over for a conversation, all we could see was the coach talking with a big smile on his face in a very calm manner.  After a second the umpire goes nuts and throws the coach out. I ask the coach the next day what he had said that so upset the ump.

Coach responded that he simpley told the ump to "go have sex with his self and he took it badly".  He never used a cuss word but got his message across.  I laughed for a week.

[jmspears3]

Overheard today a SVille practice... A kid was on the sideline sucking wind, offensive line coached asked whats the matter....The kid said coach I'm Hot the coached yelled your not hot...The women in a Victorias Secret catalog are hot your just ugly.

[BMTSoulja1]

LMAO...

[KFDM COOP]

:D

[jasperolinemen]

we had a coach in jpt the other day we were running first O vs scrap team d and the corner wassent running very hard and coach hicks said " SON JUST GET OUT.. WE RUNE EVERYWHERE... MATTER OF FACT .. GET OFF THE FIELD GO HOME AND READ LIBRARY BOOKS OR SOMETHING." i lost it on that one

[KFDM COOP]

From no paticulare coach

1: Walk it Off

2: Son, your slower than paint dryin in a rain storm

3: Get yourself a forward gear

4: Forward is a good direction

5: I could put an egg on your helmet and it wouldn't break

6: They play patty cake in the Girls PE class

7: Are you going to be a competitor today

8: Stop wastin someone else's air

9: You could be a PE all-star with that attitude

[AJ25]

9: You could be a PE all-star with that attitude

i love that one!! lol

[PNGspirit07]

old middle school coach would always say...

"Now go knock a snot bubble!"

"Kiss a FAT HOGG!"

a few of you groves people might recognize it...

Also couple years back when we were running a trick play and one of the players was supposed to "act" like he came off the field but stayed on and ran a route the coach started yelling for him to get off the field while everyone on the sideline was trying to keep him from giving the play away

[hj1]

coach kent at hj calls everyone Knucklehead

[besbolbenbedygud]

Watching linemen run 100 yrd 'sprints' at end of practice...........

........come on.......[looking at watch].......January.....Febuary......March......April.......lol