Funny Things Coaches say

[t-time]

coach kent at hj calls everyone Knucklehead

or if you remember coach hanson, everyone was buckethead!

or patty cake, he had that high nasal yankee accent, so everything he said was hilarious

[venom33]

Coach Ronnie Anderson takes the cake... ;D

[Guest Ozen]

"Get up your killing my grass" is a classic.  ;D

[Bucster]

I believe it was Bear Bryant that stated " Better you'd died an infant than fumble the ball"

Not very funny but one of my favorites.

[HORNSFAN86]

I am telling my age, back in 1986 when I was in school we used to have coachs yell things at the slower guys. They would Yell so and so, your so slow when you run I can count the number of cleats on the bottom your shoes or your is slow as Molasses Syrup. I left off the explicatives that generally accompanied those statements.

[KFDM COOP]

"Get up your killing my grass" is a classic.  ;D

[Guest Techsan]

The linebackers coach at Frenship likes to tell his players, to

"Make Their Mamas Proud" whenever he calls a blitz.

"Make Your Mama Proud Son, She wants to hear your name on the PA!"

[Guest WeedBegone]

I remember several  that i have heard numerous times---Boy your so stupid you couldnt poor piss out of your cleats if the instructions were on the heels.

and another one from the same coach

your brain would rattle in a knats A$$ like a BB in a box car.

My favorite:

Guys your getting trampled like a door mat at a wh*re house on nickle night.

[KFDM COOP]

:D :D

[rhino1877]

When a reciever misses the ball and it hits him in the chest and the coach would say, "If it was a spear it would have killed you!"

And when a kid is going to puke,"Fertilize the grass somewhere else!"

[BhGrizzlyAdams]

Top three ive heard at bh are

1 Watd you eat for breakfast this mornin DUMG FOOD!?

2 RUN! we dont take three steps and do the "CHA CHA"

3 REALLY!? well thats not very good, but thats ok, im sure it'l look a whole lot better when your doing it on the jv lol

[#1 Cheater]

"We can't stop running water!"  Dan Hooks

"Do something athletic for once in your life"  Cornel Thompson

"You can put lip stick on a pig, but it is still a pig"  Dan Hooks

[southern-thunder]

Heard during tackling drills "Hell son I've had rougher sex than that!!!"

during fumble drills, "Scoop and score, get your name in the paper!!!"

[KFDM COOP]

I've heard Coach Thompson at WO-S say on the first day of 2 A Days.."Ok we're fixing to find out who worked and who didn't, We're fixing to see who worked and who sit on the couch and drank RC Colas and ate Moon Pies".

[Bigdog]

Any idea who said it? 

[BMTSoulja1]

I remember several  that i have heard numerous times---Boy your so stupid you couldnt poor piss out of your cleats if the instructions were on the heels.

and another one from the same coach

your brain would rattle in a knats A$$ like a BB in a box car.

My favorite:

Guys your getting trampled like a door mat at a wh*re house on nickle night.

LMAO!!!!

[GoatHerder]

Coach West at Anahuac kills me with the "YEAHHHHHHHHH" "We ready" "YeahHHHHH" it cracks me up everytime I hear him!!

[BMTSoulja1]

When a reciever misses the ball and it hits him in the chest and the coach would say, "If it was a spear it would have killed you!"

And when a kid is going to puke,"Fertilize the grass somewhere else!"

I like this one!

[cubfan12]

This isn't exactly what a coach said, but what he did.

Back in my junior high days in Houston, we had a psychotic eighth grade football coach. He would gather us all in the locker room before the game and he had a small little tape recorder on the floor in the middle of the room. Before every game, he would play the opening speech sequence from the movie "Patton" with George C. Scott. If you have seen the movie, you know the opening line by heart.

"Now I want you to remember, that no ba****d ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb ba****d die for his country."

Not exactly the language you wanted a bunch of eighth graders listening to, but it sure got you ready to play a football game. Whenever I see any old teammates, we still laugh about it.

[Guest Orangeboy]

1. You couldn't catch a goat in a 2 foot alley.

2. You may die of a lot of things, but brain cancer ain't one of them.

[LionHeart]

One time one of our lineman messed up a block and our coach said " Damn boy you would make the pope cuss!!" our d-line coach usually says " you could mess up a wet dream"

[BH96]

Coach seen an offensive lineman stand up a defensive lineman while watching the film. He stops the film and replays it again and again while pointing it out to the whole team. Then turns to the person and says well how does his sister kiss you you must be dating his sister.

Then he see's the one of his line backers on a blitz gets stood up at line of scrimmage by lineman and gets pushed back 10 yards. He plays it over and over again. Then stops the film and asked in front of whole team hay what shoes did you wear goes in the film it looks like you had your roller skates on.

And the always famous "Quit bumping tittes with him and get up Field"

[WreckinMachine]

Coach West at Anahuac kills me with the "YEAHHHHHHHHH" "We ready" "YeahHHHHH" it cracks me up everytime I hear him!!

when he was with us in kountze he used to do that all the time...

[BMTSoulja1]

One time one of our lineman messed up a block and our coach said " dang boy you would make the pope cuss!!" our d-line coach usually says " you could mess up a wet dream"

Priceless!  lol.

[Guest ndn09]

Hey man you ain't going to win if u keep playing like that.