Stupid Criminals and Crimes Thread

[bullets13]

Post articles about dumb criminals and crimes here.

[bullets13]

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[Hagar]

6 hours ago, bullets13 said:

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Under ordinary vision, they look like a small bug.  Under a microscope they look like a F-22 Raptor bristling with “itchy missiles”.

[LumRaiderFan]

This should be entertaining. 👍

[LumRaiderFan]

6 hours ago, bullets13 said:

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lol 

[Hagar]

Happened several years back, so no link, but my favorite dumb criminal story.  
Guy goes in a convenience store.  Picks up a small item like a pack of gum, and puts a $20 bill on the counter to pay.  When cashier opens registered, customer pulls a gun and demands all the money in the register.  Clerk complies, guy takes the money and runs.  BUT the Loon leaves the $20 on the counter and got away with $18.75 from the register.  
Surely he salvaged some of his loss when filling out his Income Tax for the year.  😂😂😂🤣👽🤣😂😂😂

[tvc184]

No articles but I could tell about some incidents….

[Hagar]

Okay, on FOX link this morning.  Seems appropriate here.  Potential car buyer turns into potential thief turns into sprinter.  😂😂😂

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[Hagar]

On 4/9/2022 at 3:09 AM, tvc184 said:

No articles but I could tell about some incidents….

Based on your past post, like The Monkees, I’m a Believer.  Eagerly await you sharing a few.

[tvc184]

Back in the days of Pagers….. I am talking the “cool” new age Pagers with alpha numeric where you could actually type about a three line message. I was on the swat team back then and we thought technology had come basically to an end. Normally when we got a swat call out for hostage or something like that from our “old” pagers, we would get the police department dispatch number followed by – 911. With the new alpha numeric pagers we could get an actual address and may be a brief description like hostage or barricaded suspect.

But that’s not the story… the new style pager is.

A person had their car broken into, I believe in Nederland. Stolen out of the auto burglary (felony back then) was one of the alpha numeric pages. The person/victim had the phone number written on the back of the pager however. The victim of the crime worked for one of the local EMS companies.

I am assuming that it was standard that when the EMS company needed overtime, they would  send out a group text saying something like, anyone wanting to work the night shift please call. Well that group text also went to the pager that was stolen and the person in possession of it saw the message.

This person (suspect) thought, what great technology, now they are advertising jobs on pagers. She thought it was an advertisement for some company looking for Night Shift workers. So….. she called the number and said I would like to inquire about a job opening on the Night Shift. A quick thinking EMS dispatcher knew that a Pager had been stolen and ask the suspect, what pager number are you calling for. Of course the suspect complied and said I am calling from Pager number xxx-xxxx whatever. The dispatch put the suspect on hold and went and told the facility manager. The dispatcher then got back on the phone with the suspect and said can you be here at 4 o’clock for an interview.

They have set up an impromptu sting. They called the police and we were waiting inside the manager’s office. Being a good prospective employee, the suspect showed up several minutes early and was told to go into the managers office. She did. When she looked at our officers said something like, “Uh oh!”.

I was working that day but unfortunately not at the scene but I talk to the officers  and read the report. So the suspect was using a stolen Pager and thought she was going to get a job and ended up setting up her own arrest.

[bullets13]

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[tvc184]

1 hour ago, bullets13 said:

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I would hate to be that arresting officer…..

[tvc184]

8 hours ago, bullets13 said:

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That reminds me of a case….

At the time I was a commander of the street crimes/gang unit. As part of that we sometimes ran prostitution stings.

On one such occasion we arrested a woman for prostitution. She was wearing a loose dress but had no underwear of any kind. Normally after we made the arrest, the undercover officers would call in a marked patrol unit to transport the women prisoners.

While waiting on a patrol car in this particular case, the woman said I really need to go to the bathroom bad but she was standing at the rear of our undercover unit in handcuffs. With that and she spread  her legs about 3 feet apart and…… 

Splat, splat, splat…..

Not to think that was as bad as it could get, she was crying about how upset she was and how bad she feels, she turned around with her bare feet and stepped right in the middle of it. Yep, stuff squishing up between her toes.

The uniform patrol officer got there and had a comment like, you’ve got to be kidding me. He said I will be right back and came back about five minutes later. While riding around the area he saw where someone had bought a washing machine and the box was out by the road. He flattened it out and put it in the backseat of the Patrol unit and she sat on that to go to the police station.

The things we see and deal with. 

[bullets13]

11 hours ago, tvc184 said:

That reminds me of a case….

At the time I was a commander of the street crimes/gang unit. As part of that we sometimes ran prostitution stings.

On one such occasion we arrested a woman for prostitution. She was wearing a loose dress but had no underwear of any kind. Normally after we made the arrest, the undercover officers would call in a marked patrol unit to transport the women prisoners.

While waiting on a patrol car in this particular case, the woman said I really need to go to the bathroom bad but she was standing at the rear of our undercover unit in handcuffs. With that and she spread  her legs about 3 feet apart and…… 

Splat, splat, splat…..

Not to think that was as bad as it could get, she was crying about how upset she was and how bad she feels, she turned around with her bare feet and stepped right in the middle of it. Yep, stuff squishing up between her toes.

The uniform patrol officer got there and had a comment like, you’ve got to be kidding me. He said I will be right back and came back about five minutes later. While riding around the area he saw where someone had bought a washing machine and the box was out by the road. He flattened it out and put it in the backseat of the Patrol unit and she sat on that to go to the police station.

The things we see and deal with. 

she probably figured y'all would just cut her loose.

[LumRaiderFan]

17 minutes ago, bullets13 said:

she probably figured y'all would just cut her loose.

That would have been my first thought, you’re free to go, watch the poo.