Twas the Morning of Realignment

[KFDM COOP]

From oldcoach

Twas the Morning of Realignment

Twas the Morning of Realignment

'Twas the morning or realignment, when all through the State

All the coaches were scrambling to find out their fate;

Their non district foes in their pocket with care,

In hopes their new district would not find them there;

The coaches all nervous at their Educational Service Center,

Were waiting for the dude with the packets to enter;

Some in their visors, and I in my cap,

Were nervously drawing up a new way to trap,

When all around the room there arose such a clatter,

I looked up from my notebook to see what was the matter.

Away to the packets I flew like a flash,

Tore open the booklet and looked through my stash.

The light from the ceiling emmited it’s fluorescent glow

And gave the lustre of mid-day to the districts below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But the name of my school in a district not near,

With a belch from my taco, so putrid and thick,

I knew in a moment I was going to be sick.

More rapid than eagles the coaches they came,

Looking for non districts and they called me by name;

I need a zero! I need a third! the voices were humming

Come play me week four! You’ll be my homecoming!

I’ll check my schedule and give you a call!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

I looked at my district and started to cry,

Because I knew that some nights we’d have some long trips,

And three of the teams had won championships.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on my cell,

The ring tone was signaling a realignment heck.

â€I can’t play you week two, I have a prior commit,â€

I told him succinctly, “that ain’t worth a [Censored]!â€.

I looked at the numbers that separated class,

To see what the UIL had brought to pass;

I peeked at the 4A and suddenly knew,

The top number, of course, was Highland Park plus TWO!

I searched through the crowd for someone I knew,

I had to find a game to fill up week two,

His eyes – they were bloodshot! his dimples how scary!

His cheeks were like sandpaper, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was filled with a chaw,

And the front of his shirt was the worse thing I saw;

The juice from the chew was staining his teeth,

And the stain on his shirt was round like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a big old round belly,

That shook, when he cussed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled my last game; that I had lost to that jerk,

And wiping some spittle from off of his chin,

He left me standing there with a grin;

I sprang to my car, and headed back home,

And tried to call the school but my cell was on roam.

And I heard myself say as I drove out of sight,

“Happy Realignment to all, let’s have a good fight!â€

[kicker]

thats funny stuff