Getting fed up with STJFL

[Guest WHOLETDADOGSOUT]

I do not allow my kids to quit anything they have started unless it is for a very good reason. However, I am just about fed up with the youth football program.  I know it is the same with all other youth sports but I have about had enough with "Daddy Ball".  Youth sports is all about teaching the kids how to play the game and the various positions.  All I have seen is the daddy's kids playing quarterback, runningback, and receiver.  Hey, I realize there are 11 positions out there and it takes all of them to make a team and win ballgames.  I am just getting sick and tired of seeing the same kid or kids getting a chance to make the scores.  Also, I am tired of my kid doing the blocking and grunt work so the coaches kids get all the praise and glory.  It's also sickening to see the look on my kid's face after getting reamed for missing a block and causing his kid not to score. I know I should confront the coach on this and I surely will. I just wanted to vent my frustration here and see if anyone else is feeling the way I do.  I realize my kid may not make a good quarterback or runningback but how is he ever going to know unless he gets the chance? I guess I will have to quit or find another job which will allow me to coach so I get to choose where he plays. Also, do not think for one moment these coaches are playing the best kids at these positions.

[Guest Brubaker]

Like you said Dogsout, that's a part of every youth sport.  All I can tell you is that you should be encouraging your son to be the best team player he can be and get as good as he can get.  Eventually daddy is left at the refinery, while little Johnny has to make it on his own with coaches that get paid.  This isn't directed at everybody, but probably is directed at the coaches you are dealing with.  As a coach of youths, you have a responsibility to create a learning environment, so many youth coaches can't do that, for too many reasons.  Worst thing you can do is let your son see and know your frustration, it will do nothing but taint his attitude and the future he may have as an athlete.  I hear your discontent, but do your best for your son to control it and make the experience the best you can for him.  Good luck

[player66]

Why do you say STJFL? Why dont you call out the team. It is not the STJFL you may have a stubborn coach? Step up and call it out

[Guest WHOLETDADOGSOUT]

Like you said Dogsout, that's a part of every youth sport.  All I can tell you is that you should be encouraging your son to be the best team player he can be and get as good as he can get.  Eventually daddy is left at the refinery, while little Johnny has to make it on his own with coaches that get paid.  This isn't directed at everybody, but probably is directed at the coaches you are dealing with.  As a coach of youths, you have a responsibility to create a learning environment, so many youth coaches can't do that, for too many reasons.  Worst thing you can do is let your son see and know your frustration, it will do nothing but taint his attitude and the future he may have as an athlete.  I hear your discontent, but do your best for your son to control it and make the experience the best you can for him.  Good luck

Thanks! You make many good points. For now I will try to encourage my son and keep my comments to myself or take it up with the coach. The problem is the coach keeps promising my son he will get other chances but nothing happens. Now my son is frustrasted and lacks confidence in himself and his coach. He loves the game so I will try to stick it out and hope for a better next season.

[Guest WHOLETDADOGSOUT]

Why do you say STJFL? Why dont you call out the team. It is not the STJFL you may have a stubborn coach? Step up and call it out

Sorry, I should have said one team within the STJFL. I choose not to mention the name of the team here and will deal with this one on one with my son's coach.

[Guest Brubaker]

It will be your job to ensure he doesn't lose confidence in himself, and at the same time, doesn't lose respect for the authorities that we all are subject to at times.  It's tough, but sounds like you know what's best for your son.  Sometimes that means biting your lip and helping your son through a tough season.

[I❤️BC]

I do not allow my kids to quit anything they have started unless it is for a very good reason. However, I am just about fed up with the youth football program.  I know it is the same with all other youth sports but I have about had enough with "Daddy Ball".  Youth sports is all about teaching the kids how to play the game and the various positions.  All I have seen is the daddy's kids playing quarterback, runningback, and receiver.  Hey, I realize there are 11 positions out there and it takes all of them to make a team and win ballgames.  I am just getting sick and tired of seeing the same kid or kids getting a chance to make the scores.  Also, I am tired of my kid doing the blocking and grunt work so the coaches kids get all the praise and glory.  It's also sickening to see the look on my kid's face after getting reamed for missing a block and causing his kid not to score. I know I should confront the coach on this and I surely will. I just wanted to vent my frustration here and see if anyone else is feeling the way I do.  I realize my kid may not make a good quarterback or runningback but how is he ever going to know unless he gets the chance? I guess I will have to quit or find another job which will allow me to coach so I get to choose where he plays. Also, do not think for one moment these coaches are playing the best kids at these positions.

I understand your frustration, I'd like to say that these things don't happen, but we all know that they can and do.  BUT, for every coach that favors their child unfairly, there are some truly amazing coaches who are there for the kids.  Also, it truly isn't an STJFL issue, it happens in all leagues, so please don't bash the STJFL for an unfortunate situation that happened involving a coach that the STJFL didn't choose.  Although the STJFL has requirements in place for the coaches of the STJFL, we don't play any part in the choosing of the coaches, you need to discuss this with your association that does choose the coaches.

[Roughrider]

I do not allow my kids to quit anything they have started unless it is for a very good reason. However, I am just about fed up with the youth football program.  I know it is the same with all other youth sports but I have about had enough with "Daddy Ball".  Youth sports is all about teaching the kids how to play the game and the various positions.  All I have seen is the daddy's kids playing quarterback, runningback, and receiver.  Hey, I realize there are 11 positions out there and it takes all of them to make a team and win ballgames.  I am just getting sick and tired of seeing the same kid or kids getting a chance to make the scores.  Also, I am tired of my kid doing the blocking and grunt work so the coaches kids get all the praise and glory.  It's also sickening to see the look on my kid's face after getting reamed for missing a block and causing his kid not to score. I know I should confront the coach on this and I surely will. I just wanted to vent my frustration here and see if anyone else is feeling the way I do.  I realize my kid may not make a good quarterback or runningback but how is he ever going to know unless he gets the chance? I guess I will have to quit or find another job which will allow me to coach so I get to choose where he plays. Also, do not think for one moment these coaches are playing the best kids at these positions.

Look, you just admitted that your kid would probably not make a good ball handler. How do you think the parents would react at a game if the your coaches rotated the QB and RB position so every kid would get a touch. There would be more post about how inept they are as coaches. I coached for 3 years in the STJFL in Nederland and also served on the board and I heard the same complaint every year. Football is the ultimate team sport and the "grunt work" as you call it is the building block of any offense. I know that NYFA has a complaint form you can fill out to file a  formal complaint with the board. You can try it, but I promise that is not a complaint that the board will act on. If anyone does not like who the coaches are, I encourage them to sign up and run for the board so they will have a part in the decision process.

Also, you will get the prestigious job of picking up garbage until 9:00 PM on every home game.

Good Luck

[player66]

My son plays in the STJFL and the league is as good as any other league. I think all youth sports have issues, not matter what league. If we could eliminate parents with egos from participating all leagues would be better. Ever play little league, that has to be the worst and it is your own community screwing each other. There are issues but if you have an issue with a coach or your association you need to drop the title. You need to change your name because if you are not from Nederland you are going to give them a bad name.

My point is, you started a thread but do not want to back it up with names and then mislead everyone about the STJFL. But I do understand your point and what you are trying to say, keep it real :

[football04]

football is a team sport, when we started this year we told our kids that we would only be as good as our offensive line was. everyone wants the glory, but without the line nobody gets the glory. at these young ages it is more important to be a team player and learn to be physical and play tough, that is what high school coaches are looking for in kids. I know, my son played 5 years of pop warner, I coached the offense and my son was left tackle and linebacker, in jr.high he was fullback and linebacker, as a freshman he was tailback and linebacker, as a soph. he started at linebacker on varsity at 150lbs and played 3 years at that position and never moved, 2 years 1st team all district. I was never prouder than when the school coaches said he plays the game the way it is suppost to be played, with intensity and toughness, and this is what you should hope your son gets from youth football, play the game as hard as you can with as much passion as you can on every snap, thats all you can control, and let the rest take care of it's self, you will be doing what is best for you and your son.

[VNUPE]

Here's the deal...... When it comes to coaches having their kids play the skilled positions they've worked with their children all year long to prepare them for the season. These coaches (dads) are the only ones who volunteer to take time out of their busy schedules to coache your kids when you don't have time. It may be considered a bit of a reward to those dads who take the time to be there to at least try to put their child in a postion where he may help the team win.

[Guest Brubaker]

vnupe, that's hogwash.  Adults should be able to volunteer and put in time without screwing kids.  I know most of them can and do.  You don't get the luxury of screwing other kids over because you volunteer, that defeats the purpose of being a volunteer and being in it for the kids.  If you do that, you're in if for you and will hurt your kid in the long run.  I TOTALLY disagree with everything you posted.  Many of the best athletes I've ever coached didn't even have dads involved in their lives, do they just take it up the keister because of your philosophy?

[Guest Brubaker]

Does anybody know the STJFL tiebreaker rules when the season comes to an end and trying to determine playoff teams?  Does it have anything to do with points scored or given up?

[daddy23]

Points Allowed

[Guest Brubaker]

Anyone ever looked at another way to do it so that coaches allow more kids to play in blowouts.  This is instructional and points allowed results in bad decisions regarding playing time in blowouts. 

[TheBigSwitch]

I once heard a highschool coach say that if my kid was physically capable, I would absolutley play him a QB if I was the youth coach.  The reason why is I work with him everyday at home and during the summer, who is going to be better prepared than a kid who is being coached even after practice is over everyday on his position.  So not all of the time but a lot of the time it makes sense to play you kid at QB if he is able.

[TheBigSwitch]

Anyone ever looked at another way to do it so that coaches allow more kids to play in blowouts.  This is instructional and points allowed results in bad decisions regarding playing time in blowouts. 

Any coach worth his salt should be playin all his kids in a blow out, you never know when you may need that kid to fill in for good.  That rule does not keep coaches from playing player, coaches keep coaches from playing other players.

[Guest Brubaker]

No, coaches get caught up in getting in the playoffs and getting to the super bowl.  If there were another rule for tiebreakers, it would take some heat off them to keep points down.

[TheBigSwitch]

It does not help them to score points on you, if they beat you and they are tied with you overall, then the tie is broke by head up play meaning they beat you so they go and you do not.  They have no incentive to run the score up because of play off tie.  Unless they are trying to help out another team, which I don't see happening.

The more points you allow hurts you but not against a team that has already beat you.

[BLUEDOVE3]

Like you said Dogsout, that's a part of every youth sport.  All I can tell you is that you should be encouraging your son to be the best team player he can be and get as good as he can get.  Eventually daddy is left at the refinery, while little Johnny has to make it on his own with coaches that get paid.  This isn't directed at everybody, but probably is directed at the coaches you are dealing with.  As a coach of youths, you have a responsibility to create a learning environment, so many youth coaches can't do that, for too many reasons.  Worst thing you can do is let your son see and know your frustration, it will do nothing but taint his attitude and the future he may have as an athlete.  I hear your discontent, but do your best for your son to control it and make the experience the best you can for him.  Good luck

Thanks! You make many good points. For now I will try to encourage my son and keep my comments to myself or take it up with the coach. The problem is the coach keeps promising my son he will get other chances but nothing happens. Now my son is frustrasted and lacks confidence in himself and his coach. He loves the game so I will try to stick it out and hope for a better next season.

Ah yes! Good ol' DaddyBall is quite common in all sports. Been through it too but in AAU basketball in Houston. I have no problem with Daddyball if the (coach's) kid is better or is really good at his position. I know you won't do it but calling out teams or names on the forum will not solve anything. And I also admire you for not encouraging your kid to quit. Just keep encouraging him to practice and get better than he is now. When the opportunity comes, be prepared to take full advantage of the situation. Because we were from the Beaumont area and playing in Houston, no one knew my son. He wanted to quit also because of some daddyball issues. He made the all star team there and got the exposure. But the main idea is that he was ready when the opportunity was there. Also, keep in mind that once he is in Junior High, you may not have to put up with daddyball. There is a bigger goal down the road. I do understand what you feel and what you are saying. Another dad on our team quit for the same reasons. But I was taught  never to quit no matter how hard you may think it is, because it gets better. And I have found this to be true in my playing days and looking at others who stick with it. My son says he is thankful I didn't let him quit the team. Look at the long term goals. It will get better.

[BLUEDOVE3]

I once heard a highschool coach say that if my kid was physically capable, I would absolutley play him a QB if I was the youth coach.  The reason why is I work with him everyday at home and during the summer, who is going to be better prepared than a kid who is being coached even after practice is over everyday on his position.  So not all of the time but a lot of the time it makes sense to play you kid at QB if he is able.

I think the problem comes in when the coach's son is not the better players at that particular position, no matter how much he works him out.

[I❤️BC]

Anyone ever looked at another way to do it so that coaches allow more kids to play in blowouts.  This is instructional and points allowed results in bad decisions regarding playing time in blowouts. 

There are no 'blow outs', period.  There are rules in place that determine what happens when the game is becoming a blow out, check your rules, and by-laws.  Points allowed is a very fair way to determine the ties, if the game is being won by an overwhelming amount, changing players probably wouldn't change that.  BUT, as I said, it's in the rules/by-laws about pulling players at a certain point, read up on it.

[NewIndian]

Well ill chime in on this i have volunteered and did coach a couple of seasons but was not "friends" ie didnt play ball with them in HS and so my boy is doing line work on def and off and is holding his own with kids twice his size, ill be the first too admit he cannot catch but is small and fast( ive watched him with the neigborhood kids this summer and they barely touch him and he never lost the ball and the kid can throw and good tight spiral at least 15 yards) but ive told him to stick with it and maybe hell get his chance, hes been playing "D" cuz thats his pref but wouldnt mind getting a chance at "O" in some of these blowouts weve had

[player66]

When a team is winning by 28 points or more the first team runningbacks have to come out of the game and is replaced with 2nd and 3rd team runningbacks. The starters cannot return as long as the differential is 28 or more. So that is 4 starters that come out and does not return to the game. 1/2 the lineman cannot run the ball due to wieght linmit for runningbacks in each division. I think before someone start complaining they need to include the rules so everyone understands.

[83_Alumni]

I do not allow my kids to quit anything they have started unless it is for a very good reason. However, I am just about fed up with the youth football program.  I know it is the same with all other youth sports but I have about had enough with "Daddy Ball".  Youth sports is all about teaching the kids how to play the game and the various positions.  All I have seen is the daddy's kids playing quarterback, runningback, and receiver.  Hey, I realize there are 11 positions out there and it takes all of them to make a team and win ballgames.  I am just getting sick and tired of seeing the same kid or kids getting a chance to make the scores.  Also, I am tired of my kid doing the blocking and grunt work so the coaches kids get all the praise and glory.  It's also sickening to see the look on my kid's face after getting reamed for missing a block and causing his kid not to score. I know I should confront the coach on this and I surely will. I just wanted to vent my frustration here and see if anyone else is feeling the way I do.  I realize my kid may not make a good quarterback or runningback but how is he ever going to know unless he gets the chance? I guess I will have to quit or find another job which will allow me to coach so I get to choose where he plays. Also, do not think for one moment these coaches are playing the best kids at these positions.

Football is Life! Life is not fair, so learn from it. Some of us do the work, while others get the credit. Teach your son to be the best player he can be at whatever position he plays.