Parents out of bounds; respect for coaches waning

[adminbaberuth]

Interesting article, it fits all high school sports.

Parents out of bounds; respect for coaches waning

Commentary By Scott Kaiser

Times Sports Writer

par~ent (par'ent) n. 1. A father or mother; 2. Any organism in relation to its offspring; 3. A source; origin. Definition from the Second College Edition of Webster's New World Dictionary

coach (koch) n. 2. (a) A private tutor; ( one who instructs or trains a performer or a team of performers; © One who instructs players in the fundamentals of a competitive sport and directs team strategy. Definition from Webster's Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary

You will notice in the above definitions that parent and coach are not related. However, it appears that more of the former think they know more than the latter, and aren't afraid to cross that line.

Example No. 1: At last Friday's Cinco Ranch-Mayde Creek girls' basketball game, the Lady Cougars posted an impressive 21-point road victory to remain in a first-place tie with Taylor in the District 17-5A race. This was a huge road win against a Lady Rams' squad that lost at the buzzer to the Lady Mustangs just three nights earlier. It was also Cinco Ranch's 56th win its last 57 district games, one of the most impressive streaks in the history of Texas high school sports.

After the game, I had just asked Lady Cougars coach Eric Bartlett about the victory when a gentlemen stopped in front of us and said, I'm embarrassed to be part of this program.

I want to re-emphasize that this comment, which left both of us dumbfounded, came after a 21-point road victory by the four-time defending district champions. Here are some of the other gaudy numbers posted by the Cinco Ranch girls' basketball program:

** A record of 152-55 in the last six-plus seasons;

** Playoff qualifiers the last six years, including four straight trips to the regional quarterfinals before advancing to the Region III finals last season;

** A district-winning streak of 54 games over four-plus seasons;

** A 17-13 record this season, with 12 of those losses having come against programs with a combined 243-71 record. Eight of those teams have already won 20 or more games;

** Led by a coach who has won 462 games in his 22-plus seasons.

Boy, I bet Coach Bartlett tosses and turns every night in bed thinking about how embarrassing his program is.

Example No. 2: A veteran coach recently told me that one of his former players had considered getting into high school coaching, but said, I don't think I can take the criticism. I'm not tough enough.

Example No. 3: The constant ringing tune of Play a different quarterback! shouted from the Morton Ranch stands during the majority of the 2007 football season. I'm sure that was pleasant for the quarterback who was playing.

Example No. 4 through infinity: Time-wasting, mind-numbing meetings with parents who aren't happy with their child's playing time.

Now, understand that I come at this from three different angles: parent of a teenager, a former high school coach, and a sports writer.

As a parent whose child played basketball as a freshman and has been in the tennis program at Cy-Fair High School for three years, it is tough to watch her play. It ached at times when she didn't get to play as a freshman because I love my daughter. I am selfish and am extremely protective of her well-being. We all want our children to play the entire game, succeed, and be champions.

This is unrealistic. It is Fantasy Land, spurred by our changing society.

High school sports is not Fun-Fair-Positive-Soccer. FFPS is a great program for youngsters, but playing high school sports prepares teenagers for life. Life is not always fun, it's hardly ever fair, and you're never going to live a day without someone being negative about something.

So, how do I best love my daughter? By letting her experience all aspects of high school sports, the good times and the rough times. By letting her learn to deal with adults, i.e. the coach, if she has a question or is discouraged. If I start fighting her battles now, what will she do in college and once she has a job? Will she expect me to call her professor or boss when she has a problem or dilemma? Even worse, will she expect me to go over the head of her direct supervisor/teacher/coach to the athletic coordinator/principal/dean/CEO, without first privately following the chain of command?

Although my daughter has rarely complained about anything in athletics, when she does, her mother and I say, Talk to the Coach. Rather than fighting these battles for her, I stand deep in the bleachers or far away from the court and mumble about strategy or coaching techniques, but I keep them to myself.

As a former high school coach, albeit for only three years, I agonized over lineups and trying to get everyone into a match. In tennis things are more cut and dried because we have a challenge ladder and you can prove one-on-one who best deserves a certain spot, but I can promise you that the No. 1 dilemma, and there isn't a close second, for all coaches is how to decide playing time.

No coach, repeat, NO COACH!!! goes into a match or game thinking, Boy, I'm not going to play so-and-so just to upset him/her. Deciding who does or does not play, or how long someone plays, is not based on malice. It's done after watching hours of practice and games, watching tape, and scouting opponents. Varsity coaches have to decide on what lineup can best help them win on that night, not on stroking the egos of the players (or sometimes, the parents).

As a sports writer, one who wrote his first story for a professional paper in 1976, I have seen a disintegration of the team (Together Everyone Accomplishes More!). Instead of having a team of players, you have individuals who play for a team. Encouraged by greedy club coaches and sometimes-misguided parents who have forked out thousands of dollars to chase that not-inevitable scholarship, high school coaches have become targets with large red circles on their backs.

These coaches, who, by the way, are first and foremost classroom teachers, go to clinics, study tapes until all hours of the morning, or go scouting when they could be home with their families, but somehow that doesn't make them as qualified as those of us who sit in the stands.

Do you not see their bloodshot eyes late in a season? Do you not see them when they are at the hospital with an injured player at 3 a.m., then head to 6 a.m. practice? Do you not see them representing our schools and our children with humility and grace? Do you not see how much they LOVE children?

Trust me, it's easy to be a coach from the stands. I do it every time I cover a game, but that doesn't mean I'm qualified to do so from the field or the bench. Like any sports writer, there's not a coach alive who hasn't questioned the strategy of a fellow coach, but you're not hearing them yell it from the stands or calling the principal the next morning because Johnny or Julie didn't play.

Winning at all costs or being a breeding ground for college programs is not the ultimate goal of a high school sports program. It's about teaching kids about academic and behavioral responsibility, and sacrificing the goals of the individual for the betterment of the team.

I'd say probably 90 percent of the parents understand this; it's the 10 percent who make coaches dread answering the phone or looking at their emails.

Friends, our coaches deserve better. Before shouting that slur or making that call or sending an email, please look in the mirror and ask yourself, Is this about the TEAM, or this about ME?

[Kelly Baseball]

Thank you for your thread, Admin.  I am a coach, and I appreciate what you said....not an appreciation of thanks, but just as an acknowledgement.  IMO, things have really gotten out of hand as far as parents playing a bigger role in their kids' athletics, and it's good to see that other people have noticed.

[Gabe]

Great article.

[DH09]

Great article.

No respect for High School coaches is a two way street...in today's world there is a lot more knowledge of the sport fundamentals and a lot more of daddy's money spent on professional lessons than ever before. So where does a high school coach hibernate during the summer? Theres is no question that select or tournament baseball, basketball  has evolved and developed  better athletes than "most" high school programs. A lot of high school coaches are stuck in the sixties and will not accept the fact that daddy's money provides them with some of their best talent. Some kids will develop bad habits during the high school season and some stay away from high school sports altogether. Did your high school coach have it right way back then? probably not, how many coaches know how to teach pitching and will you turn your high school coach loose on your boy.....?

[JS]

Great article.

No respect for High School coaches is a two way street...in today's world there is a lot more knowledge of the sport fundamentals and a lot more of daddy's money spent on professional lessons than ever before. So where does a high school coach hibernate during the summer? Theres is no question that select or tournament baseball, basketball  has evolved and developed  better athletes than "most" high school programs. A lot of high school coaches are stuck in the sixties and will not accept the fact that daddy's money provides them with some of their best talent. Some kids will develop bad habits during the high school season and some stay away from high school sports altogether. Did your high school coach have it right way back then? probably not, how many coaches know how to teach pitching and will you turn your high school coach loose on your boy.....?

well said

[Guest shooter1709]

Great article.

No respect for High School coaches is a two way street...in today's world there is a lot more knowledge of the sport fundamentals and a lot more of daddy's money spent on professional lessons than ever before. So where does a high school coach hibernate during the summer? Theres is no question that select or tournament baseball, basketball  has evolved and developed  better athletes than "most" high school programs. A lot of high school coaches are stuck in the sixties and will not accept the fact that daddy's money provides them with some of their best talent. Some kids will develop bad habits during the high school season and some stay away from high school sports altogether. Did your high school coach have it right way back then? probably not, how many coaches know how to teach pitching and will you turn your high school coach loose on your boy.....?

well said

i concur

[bmtball]

Great article.

No respect for High School coaches is a two way street...in today's world there is a lot more knowledge of the sport fundamentals and a lot more of daddy's money spent on professional lessons than ever before. So where does a high school coach hibernate during the summer? Theres is no question that select or tournament baseball, basketball  has evolved and developed  better athletes than "most" high school programs. A lot of high school coaches are stuck in the sixties and will not accept the fact that daddy's money provides them with some of their best talent. Some kids will develop bad habits during the high school season and some stay away from high school sports altogether. Did your high school coach have it right way back then? probably not, how many coaches know how to teach pitching and will you turn your high school coach loose on your boy.....?

I agree with you.  High school athletics is a two-way sport.  I believe coaches need to make more of an effort to get to summer games of their athletes.  Better yet, go to the younger age leagues and begin creating the "culture" for your program by sharing knowledge or plays, in the case of football and basketball, with the coaches so the kids coming into high school have been introduced to the "system".  BUT, we have big problem.  As was pointed out above, many coaches are teachers first, coaches second. If they tried to live off their coaching pay, and not their teacher pay, they would starve.  These professional lessons that Daddy's money pays for are being instructed by coaches who focus solely on coaching.  Some of whom make upwards of $40-50,000 per year as professional coaches.  Unfortunately, many schools and districts cannot afford a pure coach for every sport, whose only focus is coaching their team.  Therefore, we have to live with the system we currently have (coaches who are teachers first).  Until the economics improve in these school systems, we will have to understand that comparisons made between "professional coaches" and school-paid coaches are unfair comparisons.  Sometimes I wonder if the frustration some feel about their coaches is because they are used to their money "buying" playing time for kids in youth athletics.  When kids get to high school, they realize money can't buy playing time as easily as it used to.

[oldman]

Great article.  It is obvious though that some on here don't agree with the article. 

[Guest rambleonus]

I agree with you oldman.  What are these comments telling the kids?

[2throwrundown]

Great article.

No respect for High School coaches is a two way street...in today's world there is a lot more knowledge of the sport fundamentals and a lot more of daddy's money spent on professional lessons than ever before. So where does a high school coach hibernate during the summer? Theres is no question that select or tournament baseball, basketball  has evolved and developed  better athletes than "most" high school programs. A lot of high school coaches are stuck in the sixties and will not accept the fact that daddy's money provides them with some of their best talent. Some kids will develop bad habits during the high school season and some stay away from high school sports altogether. Did your high school coach have it right way back then? probably not, how many coaches know how to teach pitching and will you turn your high school coach loose on your boy.....?

While i understand the point you are trying to make here it seems to me you are upset because a Coach has apparently "wronged" you in some form or fassion.  You ask if your high school coach in the 70s got it right?  What makes you so positive that the man you pay to train your son is any better?  I do not agree with you in the least that this "select" buisness is developing better atheletes.  It is the atheletes choice to put in the effort and work that makes them better.  I am not saying these programs do not help them but it is the desire of the child to get better.  

How many coaches know how to teach pitching and will you trun your high school coach loose on your boy...?

I'm not sure what you mean by this.  I mean, if you dont want your child "coached" by the person hired to run the team then dont allow him to participate.

[JS]

Great article.   It is obvious though that some on here don't agree with the article.   

I DO agree with the article or about 99% of it---- every once in a blue moon a parent is forced to speak up but it should be done privately and in the coaches/admins confidence--sometimes there are situations that have to be addressed

[JS]

w/o question "select" baseball is developing better baseball players

[RIP09]

Great article.

No respect for High School coaches is a two way street...in today's world there is a lot more knowledge of the sport fundamentals and a lot more of daddy's money spent on professional lessons than ever before. So where does a high school coach hibernate during the summer? Theres is no question that select or tournament baseball, basketball  has evolved and developed  better athletes than "most" high school programs. A lot of high school coaches are stuck in the sixties and will not accept the fact that daddy's money provides them with some of their best talent. Some kids will develop bad habits during the high school season and some stay away from high school sports altogether. Did your high school coach have it right way back then? probably not, how many coaches know how to teach pitching and will you turn your high school coach loose on your boy.....?

I agree completely with both sides but almost all you ever see published by the media is the side from the coaches about the ignorant and psycho parents. I'm glad to see someone talk about the fact that not all coaches have the knowledge to teach and make kids better. Some just have the title and get by on the talent they're given. Just because they have the title of "Coach" does not make them a genius and 100% right all of the time.

[oldman]

In select ball ( most cases--not all )  money talks,  coach will tell you whatever you want to hear as long as the money keeps coming.

[RIP09]

In select ball ( most cases--not all )  money talks,  coach will tell you whatever you want to hear as long as the money keeps coming.

I agree with this but you also know rather or not the coach is blowing smoke by the results of your kids play on the field. If your kids on a quality select team, they're winning, and your kid is putting up good stats I'd say that speaks for itself. It's not hard to tell if your kid isn't doing well.

[oldman]

If a kid is putting up the stats and doing what is expected out of him there is no question he should be on the field.    I will say that coaching High School and coaching select are totally different.  In high school you coach what is given to you.  In select ball ( hint: SELECT ) you get to pick and choose who you get.

[RIP09]

If a kid is putting up the stats and doing what is expected out of him there is no question he should be on the field.    I will say that coaching High School and coaching select are totally different.   In high school you coach what is given to you.  In select ball ( hint: SELECT ) you get to pick and choose who you get.

I agree.

[EAGLE07]

w/o question "select" baseball is developing better baseball players

I agree 100%.

[EAGLE07]

In select ball ( most cases--not all )  money talks,  coach will tell you whatever you want to hear as long as the money keeps coming.

You're on the wrong select team. That hasn't been the case in our experiences. 

[EAGLE07]

If a kid is putting up the stats and doing what is expected out of him there is no question he should be on the field.    I will say that coaching High School and coaching select are totally different.   In high school you coach what is given to you.  In select ball ( hint: SELECT ) you get to pick and choose who you get.

I agree with this also. What many people/parents seem to forget....these high school coaches are teachers first ( as previously mentioned ). Furthermore, most not all, are football coaches that are forced to coach or help coach another sport. We are in Texas...where football is still king.  If a player comes along whose talent is obvious, rather it came from playing select or not, most of these coaches have enough sense to not mess with him and just let him play ball.

[twilyms]

I don't believe it is so much the select ball coaches as it is the athletes being able to play year round. The "select" player who plays year round has the definite advantage over the kid who has to get his glove out of the closet when practice starts up.

The idea of a coach being respected just because they have the title "coach" in front of his name is insane. Maybe the position commands respect but it is the actions and results of the person in that postion that ultimately earns their individual respect.

[oldman]

In select ball ( most cases--not all )  money talks,  coach will tell you whatever you want to hear as long as the money keeps coming.

You're on the wrong select team. That hasn't been the case in our experiences. 

I'm too old to play ball and I have very little dealings with select ball.  As I said earlier ( most cases --not all).............................

[football]

  Some just have the title and get by on the talent they're given.

I agree with this but you also know rather or not the coach is blowing smoke by the results of your kids play on the field. If your kids on a quality select team, they're winning, and your kid is putting up good stats I'd say that speaks for itself. It's not hard to tell if your kid isn't doing well.

Which is it, the kids or the coach!

It seems like you're saying that success in high school is due to the athletes, while the success in select is due to the coach!

[DH09]

So what are a coaches responsibility's?...To put the communities best foot forward which may or may not mean best talent! The best talent in the district might be a moron, can't make passing grades or stays in trouble. A high school coach must juggle several different situations that don't exist in select. He has to deal with the hand he is dealt and sometimes kids get lost in the shuffle. A coach needs to have a zero gossip factor to build a strong unified team. This is where the parents and crowned often bring down good teams with to much gossip and back stabbing and rumors flying around which is all detrimental to the idea of TEAM. If a coach tells the team not to gossip and tell your dad while you're at it then we can all focus on the game. Just think one psycho dad can ruin a whole season.

[BLUEDOVE3]

In select ball ( most cases--not all )  money talks,  coach will tell you whatever you want to hear as long as the money keeps coming.

I agree with this but you also know rather or not the coach is blowing smoke by the results of your kids play on the field. If your kids on a quality select team, they're winning, and your kid is putting up good stats I'd say that speaks for itself. It's not hard to tell if your kid isn't doing well.

In the major team sports that I can think of, you can take a weak kid and insert him/her into the lineup. The parent isn't going to whine too much even if the kid is weak, especially if they paid out monies. You see, you can take a weak kid and fit them in with the talented kids and you will hardly miss a beat, especially if you have an opponent's coach who can't see the weaker player. And the parents are happy because the kid is playing.