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Mental toughness

mfd814

By mfd814
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belle-mere

belle-mere

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Nature vs. Nurture, the age-old argument.  Some people seem to born with leadership qualities that positively infect others, thus mental toughness can be contagious or "learned."  Good coaches are one example.  So, mental toughness can be innate or learned; however, I lean to the learned side.
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Gasilla

Gasilla

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It's always learned, but usually at an early age. It can be changed but it is difficult. A major factor in mental toughness is self confidence. The more confident a kid becomes the more mentally tough he/she becomes. In my opinion, creating mental toughness is a mental as well as physical process.
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BLUEDOVE3

BLUEDOVE3

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My favorite subject. Mental toughness is primarily a learned process. I always tease parents because we have suburanized our kids and taken them away from the core values of playing in the "hood." We've bought them goals to play in the yard and not mingle with other kids around the city. The toughest kids I know and mfd814 will probably agree with me are the kids who have to basically take care of themselves and live in a single parent home, in a rough area of town.

But yes, mental toughness can be taught to our kids. It's a process and a lot of in-between couseling taking care. Building confidence is the key. Put your child in situations that will put them in winning situations. Swimming, poetry contests, football or whatever. You have to recognize their strengths and use it to their advantage.
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HI_#20_Mom

HI_#20_Mom

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Guess it depends on your view of mental toughness. Is mental toughness being able to beat up everyone else, or the ability to stop yourself from beating everyone up, even when you know you can?

What do you think about siblings brought up in a rough neighborhood, the same parenting, or lack there of, one goes on to be an inspiration to everyone he/she touches, and the other ends-up in prison? Same environmental controls with a different outcome! Which one is considered mentally tough?

What about the great parents who raise three great kids, but have one that is a total loser? Same environmental controls with a different outcome!

Now I completely agree that it can be taught, but….. you have to have something to start with!

There will be those who will succeed no matter what, and …
there will be those who will not succeed no matter what.
That’s the genetic luck of the draw.
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SgtRey

SgtRey

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[quote name="HI_#20_Mom" post="879671" timestamp="1287424182"]
Guess it depends on your view of mental toughness. Is mental toughness being able to beat up everyone else, or the ability to stop yourself from beating everyone up, even when you know you can?

What do you think about siblings brought up in a rough neighborhood, the same parenting, or lack there of, one goes on to be an inspiration to everyone he/she touches, and the other ends-up in prison? Same environmental controls with a different outcome! Which one is considered mentally tough?

What about the great parents who raise three great kids, [b]but have one that is a total loser[/b]? Same environmental controls with a different outcome!

Now I completely agree that it can be taught, but….. you have to have something to start with!

There will be those who will succeed no matter what, and …
there will be those who will not succeed no matter what.
That’s the genetic luck of the draw.

[/quote]
:D....don't ever give up on that one kid....he/she will get it...I was that kid, and sometimes you may take a while to realize it, but you're starring yourself in the face....because that kid was you... ;)
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BLUEDOVE3

BLUEDOVE3

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[quote name="HI_#20_Mom" post="879671" timestamp="1287424182"]
Guess it depends on your view of mental toughness. Is mental toughness being able to beat up everyone else, or the ability to stop yourself from beating everyone up, even when you know you can?

What do you think about siblings brought up in a rough neighborhood, the same parenting, or lack there of, one goes on to be an inspiration to everyone he/she touches, and the other ends-up in prison? Same environmental controls with a different outcome! Which one is considered mentally tough?

What about the great parents who raise three great kids, but have one that is a total loser? Same environmental controls with a different outcome!

Now I completely agree that it can be taught, but….. you have to have something to start with!

There will be those who will succeed no matter what, and …
there will be those who will not succeed no matter what.
That’s the genetic luck of the draw.

[/quote]Huh? I never said anything about beating up anybody. I said taking care of yourself will make you mentally tough. I too have always pondered how kids from the same family/parents will be or could be so different in positive versus negative paths.
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HI_#20_Mom

HI_#20_Mom

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Posted
[quote name="BLUEDOVE3" post="879684" timestamp="1287424959"]
[quote author=HI_#20_Mom link=topic=74559.msg879671#msg879671 date=1287424182]
Guess it depends on your view of mental toughness. Is mental toughness being able to beat up everyone else, or the ability to stop yourself from beating everyone up, even when you know you can?

What do you think about siblings brought up in a rough neighborhood, the same parenting, or lack there of, one goes on to be an inspiration to everyone he/she touches, and the other ends-up in prison? Same environmental controls with a different outcome! Which one is considered mentally tough?

What about the great parents who raise three great kids, but have one that is a total loser? Same environmental controls with a different outcome!

Now I completely agree that it can be taught, but….. you have to have something to start with!

There will be those who will succeed no matter what, and …
there will be those who will not succeed no matter what.
That’s the genetic luck of the draw.

[/quote]Huh? I never said anything about beating up anybody. I said taking care of yourself will make you mentally tough. I too have always pondered how kids from the same family/parents will be or could be so different in positive versus negative paths.
[/quote]

Fighting was just the example I could think of, because it seems to be more like physical toughness.
Might have used, one can get good grades, but won’t.

Yea, I have seen families with kids different as night and day!
Truly, I think most of us are middle of the road waiting for someone or something to push us one way or the other.
I think you are right though, nurturing ones gifts is the best way to go; that and never giving up on our kids, even if you have to cut them loose for a while.
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FootballFan96

FootballFan96

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Posted
Mental Toughness is learned by how your parents raise you.

if you have a kid that is raised by a poorer family on a farm where he is forced to get up every morning before school and help out then work when he gets off of school till dark.... most likely he will have more mental toughness than some spoiled rich kid that hasn't worked a day in their life....

this question is kinda hard to answer for everyone because everyone is different and different things build up an individuals mental toughness while it could damage someone elses....

working day in and day out could build the strongest mental toughness out there, but then again, for others it could be damaging to them....


but no matter how the individual is, you're parents teach you it by how they raise you...
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HI_#20_Mom

HI_#20_Mom

Posted
Posted
[quote name="Sgt Rey" post="879682" timestamp="1287424885"]
[quote author=HI_#20_Mom link=topic=74559.msg879671#msg879671 date=1287424182]
Guess it depends on your view of mental toughness. Is mental toughness being able to beat up everyone else, or the ability to stop yourself from beating everyone up, even when you know you can?

What do you think about siblings brought up in a rough neighborhood, the same parenting, or lack there of, one goes on to be an inspiration to everyone he/she touches, and the other ends-up in prison? Same environmental controls with a different outcome! Which one is considered mentally tough?

What about the great parents who raise three great kids, [b]but have one that is a total loser[/b]? Same environmental controls with a different outcome!

Now I completely agree that it can be taught, but….. you have to have something to start with!

There will be those who will succeed no matter what, and …
there will be those who will not succeed no matter what.
That’s the genetic luck of the draw.

[/quote]
:D....don't ever give up on that one kid....he/she will get it...I was that kid, and sometimes you may take a while to realize it, but you're starring yourself in the face....because that kid was you... ;)
[/quote]

Sarg. I thought we were discussing mental toughness, not your hardheadedness.  (is that a word???)
LOL  :D Just kidding.

I believe this too. ;)
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Guest octfeb

Guest octfeb

Posted
Posted
[quote name="bleed orange" post="879777" timestamp="1287430178"]
I think it has to be inside of you to begin with and it is taught. Drive is not taught it is inside the person.
[/quote] Uh huh that I agree with... u don't have the want to, then you don't have the mental toughness to get anything done. whether you are born with it or not. Your mental toughness comes from the choices you make. You can argue all day its your genetics or your environment.. The choice is ultimately up to the individual, be mentally tough or mentally weak. 
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SgtRey

SgtRey

Posted
Posted
[quote name="HI_#20_Mom" post="879759" timestamp="1287428864"]
[quote author=Sgt Rey link=topic=74559.msg879682#msg879682 date=1287424885]
[quote author=HI_#20_Mom link=topic=74559.msg879671#msg879671 date=1287424182]
Guess it depends on your view of mental toughness. Is mental toughness being able to beat up everyone else, or the ability to stop yourself from beating everyone up, even when you know you can?

What do you think about siblings brought up in a rough neighborhood, the same parenting, or lack there of, one goes on to be an inspiration to everyone he/she touches, and the other ends-up in prison? Same environmental controls with a different outcome! Which one is considered mentally tough?

What about the great parents who raise three great kids, [b]but have one that is a total loser[/b]? Same environmental controls with a different outcome!

Now I completely agree that it can be taught, but….. you have to have something to start with!

There will be those who will succeed no matter what, and …
there will be those who will not succeed no matter what.
That’s the genetic luck of the draw.

[/quote]
:D....don't ever give up on that one kid....he/she will get it...I was that kid, and sometimes you may take a while to realize it, but you're starring yourself in the face....because that kid was you... ;)
[/quote]

Sarg. I thought we were discussing mental toughness, not your hardheadedness.  (is that a word???)
LOL  :D Just kidding.

I believe this too. ;)

[/quote]you got me... :P
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