Partner, you're wasting your time. You are asking her to give up on a lifetime of manufactured repression & oppression. It's a comfortable place for her and those like her (those who would rather point to excuses than solutions). Does racism still exist? Yes it does - but not systemically like many claim. If she gives up on the idea of systemic racism controlling her life, that means she'd responsible for her own successes & failures. That's a scary place to go when you've been shielded under the blanket of "woe is me" your whole life.