Funniest thing you heard a coach say.

[Bigdog]

[quote name="GoDogs27" post="1083534" timestamp="1318651748"]
This may not be appropriate so I apologize if it's not. My all-time favorite is "Boy... You could screw up a wet dream!"
[/quote]

That sounds like Coach Eisemann.  "Get up boy , your killing my grass!"

[FSU24]

" Get your butt up out of that Darn frog stance,Looks like your about to take a crap on your ankles."

[SgtRey]

"I seen better hands on a clock"

[SgtRey]

That hit couldn't knock down a sick whore sittin on a pee pot

[STiger85]

Coach to player, Hey when that tackle pulls you get in his back pocket. Player to coach, Coach football paints don't have back pockets. Coach to player, Well then get so close you can smell his fart!!!

[ThaGhost]

"that boy's dumber than a piece of wood"

[trainerbc]

Whenever a player is obviously telling a lie or a story, "He is peeing on my leg and telling me it's raining"

[Noles_Fan]

Coach to Player after missing a ball during practice...Coach..."It would not sure so bad if you would catch the damn ball"  But what the coach did not know was that the WR broke his jaw on the play

[True Blue]

First day Getting helmets Kid come in with huge head, coach trys ever helmet we had, nothing fit.  Coach ask kid,  Son You got a Driver License, Kid said Yes Sr. Coach said let me see it. Kid ask ,Why coach? Coach said because with a head like that, the picture has to weigh 10 lbs ;D

[bh89-2]

"Men, this is Beaumont Central and we are winners!" 

[SgtRey]

"The Hill is for Real"

[BWOOD]

Ronnie Thompson at Vidor in 77,

"I'm so exicted you can't drive a tooth pick up my a** with a sledge hammer.

[Titletown2]

Cornell Thompson to a ref before the start of the second half in a game at Jasper; "Is this the first live game you've ever seen?"

Dan Hooks to ref: "Why don't ya take two weeks off and then quit."

From another coach: "That kid couldn't play dead in a western!"

Coach to JV kid; "Son, my gradmother is faster than you, and she's been dead 10 years!"

[Numberoneonly]

Ted Tate,kountze baseball...to umpire,hey ump if your going to screw me do it rite!!!!then Ted lay in front or plate on his back with legs in air....

[Guest tigersvoice]

[quote name="Numberoneonly" post="1087006" timestamp="1318963168"]
Ted Tate,kountze baseball...to umpire,hey ump if your going to screw me do it rite!!!!then Ted lay in front or plate on his back with legs in air....
[/quote]

LOL!  A lot of class, that Ted Tate ???

[Purple Runs Deep]

[quote name="Numberoneonly" post="1087006" timestamp="1318963168"]
Ted Tate,kountze baseball...to umpire,hey ump if your going to screw me do it rite!!!!then Ted lay in front or plate on his back with legs in air....
[/quote]

LoL Man thats good stuff!!!

[swampdude]

Overheard at a WOS game in Houston.......

Dan Hooks:  Hey Ref!  We work all week to get ready for these games and you come out here on one night and screw it up!  How would you like it if we came to your job and screwed that up???  Where do you work??

Zebra:  NASA

Dan Hooks:  Well, no wonder we haven't put a man on the moon since the 70's!!!!

;D 8) ;D 8) ;D

[coach pops]

evaluating team after first practice. "well coach we're small, slow, and dumb. oughta be a good year

[coach pops]

you boys play like old people screw; slow and the wrong way