How can you turn you're back on one of your kids?

[ndndad]

You were right MG it was only 7, my apologies. As far as the language goes, if you think he was the only kid that used bad language, you weren't listening. Building character lasted a whole 4 games before it was decided he was too much trouble. It was my fault for thinking trying to get some opinions on the matter somehow would get turned around and my son is a demon child that can't be controlled by a grown man. If he was that much trouble, how come no one ever came to me and said anything? Its been stated several times on this thread that I should have gone to the coach. What about the coach coming to me? We have since remedied the problem and you won't have to deal with devil anymore. But what about the next kid who's too much trouble?

[Cheermom4]

[quote name="ndndad" post="1095387" timestamp="1319676402"]
You were right MG it was only 7, my apologies. As far as the language goes, if you think he was the only kid that used bad language, you weren't listening. Building character lasted a whole 4 games before it was decided he was too much trouble. It was my fault for thinking trying to get some opinions on the matter somehow would get turned around and my son is a demon child that can't be controlled by a grown man. If he was that much trouble, how come no one ever came to me and said anything? Its been stated several times on this thread that I should have gone to the coach. What about the coach coming to me? We have since remedied the problem and you won't have to deal with devil anymore. But what about the next kid who's too much trouble?
[/quote]


I do not know you child but NO child is a demon or a devil child.  I deal with children in my line of work and have for many years plus I have 4 kids of my own.  In all that time I have encountered one child that was unruly.  I won't get into that.  You are your wife are your child's parents and biggest role model.  They copy everything we do and say it is just how kids are.  I am no where near the perfect parent and have never claimed to be.  But if one of my kids even the two that are out of high school every used that word or any word like that they would get a lecture from me like never before.  Again I don't know you or your child and have no clue about the situation so it could have never happened at all.  I teach my children that just because your friends do or say something doesn't mean that you should.  Also only you know what is best for your child since you are the parent.  Good Luck to you and your son in the future.

[SmashMouth]

[quote name="Cheermom4" post="1095663" timestamp="1319721002"]
[quote author=ndndad link=topic=90456.msg1095387#msg1095387 date=1319676402]
You were right MG it was only 7, my apologies. As far as the language goes, if you think he was the only kid that used bad language, you weren't listening. Building character lasted a whole 4 games before it was decided he was too much trouble. It was my fault for thinking trying to get some opinions on the matter somehow would get turned around and my son is a demon child that can't be controlled by a grown man. If he was that much trouble, how come no one ever came to me and said anything? Its been stated several times on this thread that I should have gone to the coach. What about the coach coming to me? We have since remedied the problem and you won't have to deal with devil anymore. But what about the next kid who's too much trouble?
[/quote]


I do not know you child but NO child is a demon or a devil child.  I deal with children in my line of work and have for many years plus I have 4 kids of my own.  In all that time I have encountered one child that was unruly.  I won't get into that.  You are your wife are your child's parents and biggest role model.  They copy everything we do and say it is just how kids are.  I am no where near the perfect parent and have never claimed to be.  But if one of my kids even the two that are out of high school every used that word or any word like that they would get a lecture from me like never before.  Again I don't know you or your child and have no clue about the situation so it could have never happened at all.  I teach my children that just because your friends do or say something doesn't mean that you should.  Also only you know what is best for your child since you are the parent.  Good Luck to you and your son in the future.
[/quote]

Mom...I think you need to read ALL of the posts before commenting. 

[queenb77630]

I've kept my opinion to myself for a while but now I have to say something.  My two sons are very much into sports and have been since a very early age (baseball, soccer, basketball, football).  They choose to do these sports - they are never forced into it by my husband and I.  I know for a fact that some coaches are partial to their own kids.  I know for a fact that some coaches take their dislike/anger at a parent out on the child (briefly: my oldest was drafted onto a baseball team (Bridge City Pony League) because the head coach thought that I would send more business his way through my job; when I said I have no control over who gets hired for the jobs, my son was suddenly off the starting lineup and played the minimum.  I'm not stupid, I know why that happened)  Both boys have had some bad experiences and they have had some really GREAT experiences with coaches.  I have always told them that if they have an attitude then they deserve to be benched.  If they are being punished for something that I did, then I will take care of it.

If the child was not played because of a bad attitude; then, well, so be it.  The attitude of one child can mess with the attitude of the whole team.  If the child was calling names and being rude, and was allowed to continue doing so just because he is a good player, that doesn't set a very good example for the rest of the team.  I'm sure it would make the other players ticked and then they would have an attitude then.

If the child was not played for some personal vendetta on the coaches part, then shame on him for being so childish and selfish.  Not only are the kids playing this sport because they want to (I hope), but they PAID for the opportunity to do so.

It really seems to me like it was a combination of the child with a bad attitude and the personal vendetta of the coach that led to the child being benched and not played as much as daddy wanted. 

I'm glad that my son has good coaches and I have no reason to complain about how much he plays and how he is treated. 

[SmashMouth]

[quote name="queenb77630" post="1095701" timestamp="1319723064"]
I've kept my opinion to myself for a while but now I have to say something.  My two sons are very much into sports and have been since a very early age (baseball, soccer, basketball, football).  They choose to do these sports - they are never forced into it by my husband and I.  I know for a fact that some coaches are partial to their own kids.  I know for a fact that some coaches take their dislike/anger at a parent out on the child (briefly: my oldest was drafted onto a baseball team (Bridge City Pony League) because the head coach thought that I would send more business his way through my job; when I said I have no control over who gets hired for the jobs, my son was suddenly off the starting lineup and played the minimum.  I'm not stupid, I know why that happened)  Both boys have had some bad experiences and they have had some really GREAT experiences with coaches.  I have always told them that if they have an attitude then they deserve to be benched.  If they are being punished for something that I did, then I will take care of it.

If the child was not played because of a bad attitude; then, well, so be it.  The attitude of one child can mess with the attitude of the whole team.  If the child was calling names and being rude, and was allowed to continue doing so just because he is a good player, that doesn't set a very good example for the rest of the team.  I'm sure it would make the other players ticked and then they would have an attitude then.

If the child was not played for some personal vendetta on the coaches part, then shame on him for being so childish and selfish.  Not only are the kids playing this sport because they want to (I hope), but they PAID for the opportunity to do so.

It really seems to me like it was a combination of the child with a bad attitude and the personal vendetta of the coach that led to the child being benched and not played as much as daddy wanted. 

I'm glad that my son has good coaches and I have no reason to complain about how much he plays and how he is treated.
[/quote]

How was it a "personal vendetta" for the coach?  That makes no sense.

[BLUEDOVE3]

[quote name="ndndad" post="1094692" timestamp="1319642535"]
He's a very aggresive kid who hates to lose. He does have an attitude, but lots of kids do in every sport. I expected his coaches to maybe sit him or work with him, but that didn't happen. He's not perfect, but to just ignore the problem isn't acceptable to me. He needed a positive role model to work him thru it and didn't get that.
[/quote]dad? Just realized you're the dad. You set the tone with your child's attitude. Not the coach.

[queenb77630]

How was it a "personal vendetta" for the coach?  That makes no sense.
[/quote]

not knowing any of the people here; my opinion is that it COULD have been that coach was tired of dads attitude as well as sons attitude.  Please don't read anything into that statement other then that.

[westend1]

[quote name="queenb77630" post="1095701" timestamp="1319723064"]
I've kept my opinion to myself for a while but now I have to say something.  My two sons are very much into sports and have been since a very early age (baseball, soccer, basketball, football).  They choose to do these sports - they are never forced into it by my husband and I.  I know for a fact that some coaches are partial to their own kids.  I know for a fact that some coaches take their dislike/anger at a parent out on the child (briefly: my oldest was drafted onto a baseball team (Bridge City Pony League) because the head coach thought that I would send more business his way through my job; when I said I have no control over who gets hired for the jobs,[b] my son was suddenly off the starting lineup and played the minimum. [/b]  I'm not stupid, I know why that happened)  Both boys have had some bad experiences and they have had some really GREAT experiences with coaches.  I have always told them that if they have an attitude then they deserve to be benched.  If they are being punished for something that I did, then I will take care of it.

If the child was not played because of a bad attitude; then, well, so be it.  The attitude of one child can mess with the attitude of the whole team.  If the child was calling names and being rude, and was allowed to continue doing so just because he is a good player, that doesn't set a very good example for the rest of the team.  I'm sure it would make the other players ticked and then they would have an attitude then.

If the child was not played for some personal vendetta on the coaches part, then shame on him for being so childish and selfish.  Not only are the kids playing this sport because they want to (I hope), but they PAID for the opportunity to do so.

It really seems to me like it was a combination of the child with a bad attitude and the personal vendetta of the coach that led to the child being benched and not played as much as daddy wanted. 

I'm glad that my son has good coaches and I have no reason to complain about how much he plays and how he is treated.
[/quote]  I suspect I know why he got less play time down in BC, and it is a different reason that what you think.

[Cheermom4]

[quote name="SmashMouth" post="1095683" timestamp="1319722338"]
[quote author=Cheermom4 link=topic=90456.msg1095663#msg1095663 date=1319721002]
[quote author=ndndad link=topic=90456.msg1095387#msg1095387 date=1319676402]
You were right MG it was only 7, my apologies. As far as the language goes, if you think he was the only kid that used bad language, you weren't listening. Building character lasted a whole 4 games before it was decided he was too much trouble. It was my fault for thinking trying to get some opinions on the matter somehow would get turned around and my son is a demon child that can't be controlled by a grown man. If he was that much trouble, how come no one ever came to me and said anything? Its been stated several times on this thread that I should have gone to the coach. What about the coach coming to me? We have since remedied the problem and you won't have to deal with devil anymore. But what about the next kid who's too much trouble?
[/quote]


I do not know you child but NO child is a demon or a devil child.  I deal with children in my line of work and have for many years plus I have 4 kids of my own.  In all that time I have encountered one child that was unruly.  I won't get into that.  You are your wife are your child's parents and biggest role model.  They copy everything we do and say it is just how kids are.  I am no where near the perfect parent and have never claimed to be.  But if one of my kids even the two that are out of high school every used that word or any word like that they would get a lecture from me like never before.  Again I don't know you or your child and have no clue about the situation so it could have never happened at all.  I teach my children that just because your friends do or say something doesn't mean that you should.  Also only you know what is best for your child since you are the parent.  Good Luck to you and your son in the future.
[/quote]

Mom...I think you need to read ALL of the posts before commenting.
[/quote]


I did read all the posts.  My point was and is that no kids are demon  or devil kids as he put it at such a young age or at least not in my opinion.

[queenb77630]

I suspect I know why he got less play time down in BC, and it is a different reason that what you think.
===================
doesn't matter anymore.  My son is a Senior in High School and will graduate in June one year earlier then normal.  I still see the coach because of my job and I don't hold any grudges.  His actions just proved to me what kind of person he is.  He has to live with that; not me nor my son.

I just mentioned that because I know for a FACT that things like that happen.  The coach or coaches take a disliking to the parent(s) and take it out on the child.

Is that what hapened in this story?  I have no idea.  I can see where the coach would get sick of the attitude of the kid and the parent and bench the kid.  At the same time, I can see where the parent is coming from.  He wants his child to play.  As my uncle used to always say: "its a sticky situation".

[MoFo]

I think the point being made is character and sportsmanship is not taught by a coach 2 days a week, it is taught by a family 7 days a week. If I heard my son cuss or disrespect a coach, other player, or fan the only worry the coach would have is beating me to yanking him off of the field. I went on this rant before so I will make it short and sweet.
I do not care if every kid, coach, fan and official are cussing like sailors on a 3 day R&R this would not give my son the right to do it. As an umpire, for more years than I care to mention you always see the parents who teach their kid, "It is someone elses Fault" the umpire blew it, the refs hate your team, the coach doesnt like you yadda yadda. Fact is, its little league, It will not and never will be fair and sound proof because we are all human and human nature teaches to protect your own. So let them play and the cream will rise to the top, and the should have beens and never wheres will fall to the bottom.
Which is why you see a lot of "studs" in little league that you never hear from or see again after about 7th or 8th grade.

[mg~10]

I'm sorry ndndad, but you don't seem to want honest opinions: you want to give one side of the story and have people who don't know you, your child, OR the coaches in the situation to tell you that you did the right thing.

You fail to mention that your child actually told the coaches that he didn't WANT to play offense... or that his attitude toward his teammates--which was a constant source of complaints from other players' parents, and even SPECTATORS (yes, someone watching a game was so outraged by his berating of a teammate that she marched up and made him apologize before reporting his behavior to the coach)--was addressed repeatedly.

No one called your child a demon (except you).  There is no "vendetta" here: the coaches did the absolute best they could to accomodate your son, to correct his demeaning attitude toward his teammates, and to encourage him to show leadership qualities to match his athletic skill.

You admit that you did not allow him to play where his coaches asked him to play--when it was needed most--and you still expected him to be one of THREE all-star picks?  How could you justify a coach choosing this player over another kid who DID play wherever he was needed, made every game and every practice, and had a positive attitude toward his teammates?

I encourage you to contact your coach if you have any further concerns about the issue.  Bad-mouthing the coaches here won't do a thing for your son.

[mommabear2011]

Thank you MG for telling the truth! I witnessed many incidents with the child in question and could not believe some of the things that came out of his mouth. I would like to thank the coaches for a great season and for teaching our kids that there is more to football than skill! Attitude matters and ndndad you need to adjust yours!

[SmashMouth]

I think everyone has had a pretty good stab at ndndad's problem...let's let up on the poor b??tard.  He was pretty forthcoming, and we have all had our swing at the kid and the Dad...probably time to let it go.  Just my opinion.

[queenb77630]

I think the topic needs to be locked so no more comments can be made before someone says something that can't be taken back.

[SmashMouth]

It can always be taken back...Jesus said so.

[queenb77630]

[quote name="SmashMouth" post="1095881" timestamp="1319736530"]


It can always be taken back...Jesus said so.
[/quote]
Yes sir, Jesus forgives us when we say or so something wrong.  Parents on this board don't always! :'(