Personal Responsibility and Teammate Accountability

[Chasmack]

A topic that will become relevant in the near future needs to be addressed by Coaches to their student-athletes.

Student-Athletes need to understand that their off-court decisions not only affect their own personal lives, but also it can have a detrimental affect on their team and school.  One wrong decision and everything that the athlete has worked toward can be taken away.  But members of the team need to also understand that they also have a responsiblity to the team to make sure that a teammate is not acting in a way that can affect the team negatively. The members of the team need to not worry about ridicule or retribution if they know of a situation that is happening that can affect the team and the teammate brings it to the attention of the coach. 

Just as an individual is responsible for his own actions, he should be held accountable by his team to to make good decisions.  A lot of kids nowadays make a decision thinking it will only affect themselves, but most decisions have a "ripple effect' that affects those around them including their teammates.  These young men need to understand that sometimes we need to help our teammates from their own worst enemy, themselves.  Jusy my .02

[freeze 1914]

preach!!!! preach and preach some more!!!!!!
right now I'm so hurt I dont know what to do with myself. Its to much all about self and having the wrong company when you are away from your teammates that can also put you and your team in a bad situation. I know exactly what you talking about.

[ST413]

very true statement and wow!

[DP#1FAN]

Amen

[bmrm]

[quote name="Chasmack" post="1368423" timestamp="1359641289"]
A topic that will become relevant in the near future needs to be addressed by Coaches to their student-athletes.

Student-Athletes need to understand that their off-court decisions not only affect their own personal lives, but also it can have a detrimental affect on their team and school.  One wrong decision and everything that the athlete has worked toward can be taken away.  But members of the team need to also understand that they also have a responsiblity to the team to make sure that a teammate is not acting in a way that can affect the team negatively. The members of the team need to not worry about ridicule or retribution if they know of a situation that is happening that can affect the team and the teammate brings it to the attention of the coach. 

Just as an individual is responsible for his own actions, he should be held accountable by his team to to make good decisions.  A lot of kids nowadays make a decision thinking it will only affect themselves, but most decisions have a "ripple affect' that affects those around them including their teammates.  These young men need to understand that sometimes we need to help our teammates from their own worst enemy, themselves.  Jusy my .02
[/quote]

I can't figure out if I'm in shock or denial. 

[bmrm]

[quote name="bmrm" post="1368783" timestamp="1359691075"]
[quote author=Chasmack link=topic=108793.msg1368423#msg1368423 date=1359641289]
A topic that will become relevant in the near future needs to be addressed by Coaches to their student-athletes.

Student-Athletes need to understand that their off-court decisions not only affect their own personal lives, but also it can have a detrimental affect on their team and school.  One wrong decision and everything that the athlete has worked toward can be taken away.  But members of the team need to also understand that they also have a responsiblity to the team to make sure that a teammate is not acting in a way that can affect the team negatively. The members of the team need to not worry about ridicule or retribution if they know of a situation that is happening that can affect the team and the teammate brings it to the attention of the coach. 

Just as an individual is responsible for his own actions, he should be held accountable by his team to to make good decisions.  A lot of kids nowadays make a decision thinking it will only affect themselves, but most decisions have a "ripple affect' that affects those around them including their teammates.  These young men need to understand that sometimes we need to help our teammates from their own worst enemy, themselves.  Jusy my .02
[/quote]

I can't figure out if I'm in shock or denial.
[/quote]

Or both?

[BLUEDOVE3]

You hear all the time but look at these teams and see how many have single mothers heading their household.

[AggiesAreWe]

[quote name="BLUEDOVE3" post="1368822" timestamp="1359729854"]
You hear all the time but look at these teams and see how many have single mothers heading their household.
[/quote]

Very, very good point.

[freeze 1914]

I'm just lost for words. :-\

[ST413]

[quote name="BLUEDOVE3" post="1368822" timestamp="1359729854"]
You hear all the time but look at these teams and see how many have single mothers heading their household.
[/quote]

Probably the best point you have ever made on here, Dove!

[usedtobe]

[quote name="ST413" post="1368941" timestamp="1359747953"]
[quote author=BLUEDOVE3 link=topic=108793.msg1368822#msg1368822 date=1359729854]
You hear all the time but look at these teams and see how many have single mothers heading their household.
[/quote]

Probably the best point you have ever made on here, Dove!
[/quote]
You are right ST413.  He hasn't made that many good points. ;D

[shooter]

Society has become so self-centered that many people fail to see how their own actions affect others. Self-gratification has replaced TEAM.  While I do understand that coming from a single parent household is difficult, it is no excuse for not doing the right thing; circumstances are what they are, but it is not necessary for them to make you who you are.  I speak from experience and I do know that a single mother can teach you to follow the rules, respect people, give back and remain humble, that's what my mother taught us.

[AggiesAreWe]

[quote name="shooter" post="1369130" timestamp="1359772486"]
Society has become so self-centered that many people fail to see how their own actions affect others. Self-gratification has replaced TEAM.  While I do understand that coming from a single parent household is difficult, it is no excuse for not doing the right thing; circumstances are what they are, but it is not necessary for them to make you who you are.  I speak from experience and I do know that a single mother can teach you to follow the rules, respect people, give back and remain humble, that's what my mother taught us.
[/quote]


AMEN!! Thanks for this post shooter.

[bmrm]

[quote name="BLUEDOVE3" post="1368822" timestamp="1359729854"]
You hear all the time but look at these teams and see how many have single mothers heading their household.
[/quote]

Is that the case in this particular situation? 

[AggiesAreWe]

[quote name="bmrm" post="1369178" timestamp="1359776685"]
[quote author=BLUEDOVE3 link=topic=108793.msg1368822#msg1368822 date=1359729854]
You hear all the time but look at these teams and see how many have single mothers heading their household.
[/quote]

Is that the case in this particular situation?
[/quote]


What particular situation? I thought this was just a general, hypothetical situation?

(and we will not discuss any particular situation on this board)

[uandme08]

This single mother is clueless although I agree with points made. Did something happen? What has my child done this time? Or is this just generally speaking?

[uandme08]

[quote name="AggiesAreWe" post="1369180" timestamp="1359776824"]
[quote author=bmrm link=topic=108793.msg1369178#msg1369178 date=1359776685]
[quote author=BLUEDOVE3 link=topic=108793.msg1368822#msg1368822 date=1359729854]
You hear all the time but look at these teams and see how many have single mothers heading their household.
[/quote]

Is that the case in this particular situation?
[/quote]
Sorry AAW. Looks like we were typing at the same time.

What particular situation? I thought this was just a general, hypothetical situation?

(and we will not discuss any particular situation on this board)
[/quote]

[bmrm]

[quote name="AggiesAreWe" post="1369180" timestamp="1359776824"]
[quote author=bmrm link=topic=108793.msg1369178#msg1369178 date=1359776685]
[quote author=BLUEDOVE3 link=topic=108793.msg1368822#msg1368822 date=1359729854]
You hear all the time but look at these teams and see how many have single mothers heading their household.
[/quote]

Is that the case in this particular situation?
[/quote]


What particular situation? I thought this was just a general, hypothetical situation?

(and we will not discuss any particular situation on this board)
[/quote]

I believe this thread was started in regards to a particular situation but I am not about air it out here.  Just wondering, if we won't discuss a particular situation on this board then why did you ask me "what particular situation"?   

[Chasmack]

[quote name="bmrm" post="1369186" timestamp="1359777239"]
[quote author=AggiesAreWe link=topic=108793.msg1369180#msg1369180 date=1359776824]
[quote author=bmrm link=topic=108793.msg1369178#msg1369178 date=1359776685]
[quote author=BLUEDOVE3 link=topic=108793.msg1368822#msg1368822 date=1359729854]
You hear all the time but look at these teams and see how many have single mothers heading their household.
[/quote]

Is that the case in this particular situation?
[/quote]


What particular situation? I thought this was just a general, hypothetical situation?

(and we will not discuss any particular situation on this board)
[/quote]

I believe this thread was started in regards to a particular situation but I am not about air it out here.  Just wondering, if we won't discuss a particular situation on this board then why did you ask me "what particular situation"?   
[/quote]

I started this thread with my thoughts on how some athlete's decisions can affect their team.  I could have been talking about PED's in MLB or the NFL.  It really doesn't matter what particular situation initiated the thought process.  But we have a problem with a "me" generation and athletes not being held accountable for their actions by their teammates.

[BLUEDOVE3]

[quote name="Chasmack" post="1369252" timestamp="1359808344"]
[quote author=bmrm link=topic=108793.msg1369186#msg1369186 date=1359777239]
[quote author=AggiesAreWe link=topic=108793.msg1369180#msg1369180 date=1359776824]
[quote author=bmrm link=topic=108793.msg1369178#msg1369178 date=1359776685]
[quote author=BLUEDOVE3 link=topic=108793.msg1368822#msg1368822 date=1359729854]
You hear all the time but look at these teams and see how many have single mothers heading their household.
[/quote]

Is that the case in this particular situation?
[/quote]


What particular situation? I thought this was just a general, hypothetical situation?

(and we will not discuss any particular situation on this board)
[/quote]

I believe this thread was started in regards to a particular situation but I am not about air it out here.  Just wondering, if we won't discuss a particular situation on this board then why did you ask me "what particular situation"?   
[/quote]

I started this thread with my thoughts on how some athlete's decisions can affect their team.  I could have been talking about PED's in MLB or the NFL.  It really doesn't matter what particular situation initiated the thought process.  But we have a problem with a "me" generation and athletes not being held accountable for their actions by their teammates.
[/quote]So, if an athlete in high school is doing something that can potentially hurt himself, are you saying the team should have a "come to Jesus meeting" with the teammate in question?

[Lazeek]

wrong if you are putting responsibility on teammates
some people will make decisions regardless of what they are told 

[Chasmack]

[quote name="BLUEDOVE3" post="1369274" timestamp="1359816982"]
[quote author=Chasmack link=topic=108793.msg1369252#msg1369252 date=1359808344]
[quote author=bmrm link=topic=108793.msg1369186#msg1369186 date=1359777239]
[quote author=AggiesAreWe link=topic=108793.msg1369180#msg1369180 date=1359776824]
[quote author=bmrm link=topic=108793.msg1369178#msg1369178 date=1359776685]
[quote author=BLUEDOVE3 link=topic=108793.msg1368822#msg1368822 date=1359729854]
You hear all the time but look at these teams and see how many have single mothers heading their household.
[/quote]

Is that the case in this particular situation?
[/quote]


What particular situation? I thought this was just a general, hypothetical situation?

(and we will not discuss any particular situation on this board)
[/quote]

I believe this thread was started in regards to a particular situation but I am not about air it out here.  Just wondering, if we won't discuss a particular situation on this board then why did you ask me "what particular situation"?   
[/quote]

I started this thread with my thoughts on how some athlete's decisions can affect their team.  I could have been talking about PED's in MLB or the NFL.  It really doesn't matter what particular situation initiated the thought process.  But we have a problem with a "me" generation and athletes not being held accountable for their actions by their teammates.
[/quote]So, if an athlete in high school is doing something that can potentially hurt himself, are you saying the team should have a "come to Jesus meeting" with the teammate in question?
[/quote][quote author=LAZEEK link=topic=108793.msg1369288#msg1369288 date=1359818811]
wrong if you are putting responsibility on teammates
some people will make decisions regardless of what they are told 
[/quote]

If the act in question is detrimental to the team, then yes,  his teammates should question his commitment to the team and maybe put pressure on him to change the behavior.  If it is harmful to himself, then those teammates who are his friends and care about his welfare might want to talk to him or express their concerns to someone who can help. 

[Lazeek]

And you know this doesn't happen?

Might want to just step away from this topic now.

[Chasmack]

[quote name="LAZEEK" post="1369424" timestamp="1359854049"]
And you know this doesn't happen?

Might want to just step away from this topic now.
[/quote]

Okay,  I'm lost now.  You seem to be taking something I said personally.  Feel free Lazeek to send me a personal message to express your concerns over what I said to upset you.

[stang4life]

As a single mother to three boys, the buck essentially stops with how I handle my child and his choices at home...to a certain point depending on age.  The "me" generation actually began with our baby boomers and has just gotten worse.  I have been blessed that so many people stepped into various roles that my boys lacked, most especially the WO-S family (most of who are coaches, past and present).  I will tell you that my children have done made stupid mistakes here and there, but they were held accountable by me, their teammates, and their coaches/teachers.  Depending on how far into their "me-ness" a kid is, he may or may not be receptive to constructive criticism or having his behavior/attitude addressed by anyone, but I still love the "it takes a village to raise a child".  I do not think they totally understand that anything (positive or negative) that happens on the field/court/track or off of them has such a dramatic impact on the team because any change affects the system.  So many times, when I have seen this kind of destructive behavior, one of two things are generally at the root:  either the parent(s) are feeding in and almost encouraging some of the behavior or they have lost control and tried to wait too late to get a hold of it.

There are a lot of single parent households out there, but trust me...it's all in how we single parents instill the proper values and discipline in our children.  It is difficult, but it can be done.